Only Human
by ADarkerDestiny
Summary: What happens when Sesshomaru angers a strange old woman and gets turned into a human? His heart is heavy and it is too hard for him to bear. Enter the one girl who can save him, but is she 5oo yrs too late? COMPLETE
1. Prologue: No Light Left In His Eyes

**A/N: Okay, this is my first fan-fic (that I've let anyone read), so please don't hate me if it sux. **

**Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own this... blah, blah, blah... all I own is the story, and I'm thinking about disowning that, too...**

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**Prologue:** No Light Left in his Eyes

_The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. –Mark Twain_

A young man sits alone beneath an old tree, just as the sun begins to rise. The moon sinks down lower and lower, taking away the only protection he had. When dawn came, he always felt lost. That velvety night sky, draped over the shoulders of the earth, was lifted magnificently and the broad sapphire expanse of the morning was revealed.

He had been there for all of two days. He hadn't moved, except to occasionally take in deep drafts of water from the stream that twisted along beside his lonely sanctuary. One could only wonder why he sat there still as a statue, barely even blinking. One could only vaguely interpret his actions, and have the uncertain knowledge that all those interpretations would be wrong.

Birds began to sing joyfully as the day's first rosy blush appeared on the creamy grey clouds. Only moments ago, he could swear he heard the beautifully crystal singing of the stars, but now there was only a dutiful silence. The great yellow sun had a role to fulfill; he could not dream of frolicking about, servant to only his own whims. So he remained silent. A sort of vapid lullaby hung down from him, clinging to his earthbound rays, and the friends of the great star took away some of his sorrow. It was a sight that could have made any misty-eyed fool sick with an off-shot of joy. But to the man that lived in a sort of restless, mournful daze, the sight brought him only more worry.

That tree that sheltered him was one thing he could be sure of. All the truths he used to hold were shattered, and the loneliness was almost too much to bear. It was a lovely beginning, and even the wind blew its secrets around as though inviting anyone to listen. But there was only one who would listen that day.

He was obviously alone, though it was very hard to tell if that was by choice or otherwise. The air around him had an aura of sorrow, and it was not hard to perceive that something in his life had recently scarred him. All of his mind was locked on the event, and it would take ages for him to recover.

Yet even in his state of squalor he was beautiful. His features were proud and strong, though his face would not show any emotion. The cruelty that once unobtrusively hung there was gone, though his old and cultured coldness still remained. Almost anyone who saw him would simply think he was resting- tired from a long and arduous night. But to those few observers worthy of the sight, his eyes gave everything away. They were so iced and threatening, that it very nearly hurt to meet their gaze. But it was a chilling sadness that made his stare bearable, and your heart, if you had one at all, was stirred into an emotion akin to pity.

Though, it would not be right to pity that strong being, and he himself would never allow it. The weight on his shoulders was becoming a strain, and it wouldn't do to keep it any longer. Not bothering to check for enemies around him, his eyelids dropped down, and covered his stretched and blatantly exhausted eyes. Sleep began to claim him. All the pride he once had was gone, and it was clear that all the value of living was gone. There was no happiness in those golden pools; the light that had once been in his eyes was gone.

Ok, that's the prologue! Review if you liked it, please! I want to know if it's good or not!


	2. 1: An Unexpected Curse

Disclaimer: I don't own this Inuyasha. I never will. You get the point right?

**Chapter One:** An Unexpected Curse

_Please don't forget how small we really are,_

_Nothing matters when we're gone._

_I'm trying to believe in you._

_-The Ataris "All You Can Ever Learn is What You Already Know"_

"I'm hungry. Are we going to stop soon?"

"Shut up! You stupid human, we will stop whenever Sesshoumaru-sama decides that we should stop. Be patient!"

Rin pouted. A familiar dull ache in the pit of her stomach was getting stronger. She never understood why Jaken-sama was so mean to her. She knew that he only looked after her because Sesshoumaru-sama told him to, but she hoped that deep down, he liked her as well.

Not very far ahead, their leader listened to the two argue as always. Barely a moment of silence passed in the long treks they all shared, except for those nights of rest that came sporadically. His head was beginning to ache from all the bickering. Constantly, the two were at odds with each other.

So many demons would never allow a human to join them, but somehow he had wound up with Rin. She was as loyal as Jaken, though not nearly so tiresome. He hated humans, anyone who had even ever heard of him could tell you that. But for a reason that escaped even his own mind, there was a great deal of comfort to be found in her company. At any cost, he was willing to protect her, but he refused to ask himself why. It, in his oh-so-mighty opinion, was a question better left unanswered.

Another loud skirmish pulled him out of his reverie. Once again, Jaken had begun screaming. That baka toad could ruin the best of days, and he seemed to make it his eternal mission to do so.

Just as Sesshoumaru began scanning the ground for an object to launch at an unsuspecting Jaken's head, his gaze was caught by a pile of what appeared to be rags on the side of the road. However, its gentle rise and fall indicated a being taking breath; that obviously proved that it did indeed hold life. It smelt of human.

He planned on passing it by entirely, until Rin noticed that something was there.

"Look Sesshoumaru-sama, what's that up there in the road?" She jumped off of Ah-Un and ran a little further ahead. "It's alive!" she said happily, reaching down to tentatively prod it. The blankets shifted and a head appeared. "Oh, it's an old woman."

The fact did not seem to affect him at all.

"She looks very bad, shouldn't we stop and help her!" Rin's eyes stared at the pile pityingly, and her voice clearly displayed concern.

It did not matter to him, however. The day had been long and dull enough already. There was no chance he was going to give in to any of Rin's silly whims. So he continued walking silently down the road.

A wheezy cough came from the old woman. Her condition was precarious, and she reeked of illness and disease. Rin felt so sorry for her, that her eyes welled up with a splattering of tears. She didn't want to leave without helping in some way: big or small.

"You are so kind, dear. Arigatou." The woman coughed again. "Perhaps your lord would reconsider his aloofness. Any act of kindness would be appreciated very greatly. I am in no condition to do anything for myself."

"Rin we are leaving."

She sighed lowly and stood up. "Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Please do not leave me here; I need food and shelter. This act of cruelty certainly wouldn't help your reputation."

He turned and stood perfectly still. His voice was heartless and cold, not even trying to hide his disgust at being begged by a human. "I do not care for any 'reputation'. I would freely take the disdain of all the world. I don't intend to help you or any other human."

The woman, to everyone's immense surprise, stood up and gazed at him with a mixture of anger and sadness in her eyes. As she stood, it was obvious that she was no ordinary wretch. Her air was dignified and strong, and her features portrayed her knowledge and skill.

"I am sorry for that," she told him. Her face was hard as stone. "Why can you not be kind? Why is your heart so cold? I stayed here waiting for a passerby, hoping to prove to myself that the world still holds honesty, and goodness, and kindness. I was very wrong I see, and I give you this warning now. Change your ways. Change your heart. If you do not, I can promise you this: there will be nothing but sorrow in your future. Still there is hope, but it will not be there long. Take my advice- and be quick about it."

The old woman gathered her things and wearily began to walk away. She had taken only a few steps when a call stopped her in her tracks.

"You are much too conceited if you think I would condescend to take advice from you. I don't need your foolish warnings."

"You do not need them, eh?" she cried, wheeling around. "You had best watch yourself, or you will regret talking this way to me."

"The only thing I will regret," Sesshoumaru told her icily, "is having stayed and talked to you this long already."

Anger was rapidly building up and the old woman was clearly very close to her breaking point. "You miserable fool! Do not push me further."

He looked straight at her, dead in the eye. "Come Jaken. Come Rin. I do not need to stay any longer. This is old hag is annoying me. Perhaps she will be quiet if no one is there to listen to her ramblings."

A torrent of rushing air came at them, tossing them up higher and higher. A shrill voice came out of the twirling winds. "You will pay for your black heart, you glacial young demon. Never again will you look down upon others, for you shall be as low as they. I will teach you to have kindness; and you will suffer until you do.

With those last words of threat, the strange old woman vanished, leaving nothing but the huge winds to tell of her ever having been there.

The two smallest of the group were still tangled in the storm, but their leader had escaped. He stood on the ground, firmly planted and impatiently waiting for the others.

He noticed a strange feeling overtaking him suddenly. The earth seemed to tremble beneath his feet, and his head pounded so hard that he began to feel dizzy and weakened.

"What is happening to me?" he asked himself. "Did that old hag truly place a curse on me? It can't be." But he felt so badly that he knew something was wrong. His hands felt as though they were shrinking, and they ached and burned.

His eyes traveled down, and he couldn't believe what he saw.

A/N: Yes, he has both arms. So gross a transgression, but my story wouldn't work as well if he didn't. --hides from angry mob-- And if you're wondering why he didn't just kill the woman? ... Well she's important later and i wouldn't let him. Poor Sesshy, no murderous acts just yet.

Ya'll review now! "Love and PEACE!" -A.D.D.


	3. 2: Meeting Mai

A/N: YES! It's chapter two, I'm so excited!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, and I never will. So, OK!

Chapter Two: Meeting Mai

_I am not bound to please thee with my answers_. –_William Shakespeare_

Once there lived a girl, not much different from any other girl. She was kind, fiercely independent, and on the most part usually cheerful. She seemed happy with life as it was, and there wasn't really that much she thought she wanted. Her friends were all nice girls, and the cared for her dearly. Her smiles and jokes always made a bad day better. It really appeared that everything was fine.

But though all of the surface was clear, deeper within her heart she longed for something more. And this strange, voracious feeling was no ordinary longing. It was a yearning; it was a need.

Her heart was sick from waiting. Waiting for something to be- something to happen. She sat idle in the world, only waiting for the right moment to finally fulfill her buried destiny. It was hard existing when no real purpose was in sight. She was not needed until a later time, and it made her ache so badly she could hardly breathe.

No one knew of this inward struggle; she kept it well hidden from even those who knew her best. They wouldn't have understood her feeling, and she had no desire to try to make it fit their neat mold. It was one wound that she would never open- one scar she didn't think would heal. Her tears were few, for she tried to be strong, but it hurt her more than even she knew. Her friends gave her space in her quiet moments, and only whispered about what made her seem so sad. They couldn't figure it out, and that made them incapable of helping her.

She was always lonely, though she was rarely alone. Her soul sought that which was lost, and it would remain shattered until that precious thing was found. Her very heart called out to this unknown, and it wanted only an answer to complete. The mysteries buried deep within her begged to be unlocked and unraveled, but she feared they would never be awakened. The very essence of her being was becoming numb from all the longing and the loneliness.

Only when she could forgot about that could she smile and be cheery. Her life was peaceful, and she existed as well as anyone. It didn't matter to her that she didn't fit the normal standard, all she wanted to do was to try to find her place. This girl was strong, and she knew that she must remain that way. This girl that awaited her destiny- she never how wonderfully it would hit her.


	4. 3: A Surprise in the Park

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Inuyasha. I never will. But, one day... SESSHOUMARU WILL BE MINE! he-he... just kidding.

A/N: If you're wondering about the last chapter, the title I mean, well, the girl that the chapter refers to is named Mai. I just forgot to actually put that. Hope you weren't confused! Oh, and THANK YOU! to all (the 4 people) who reviewed my story! It warms my heart, so bunches and bundles of thankys to all of yall. REVIEWERS ROYALLY ROCK!

**Chapter Three: A Surprise in the Park**

_Another day is going by, I'm thinking about you all the time._

_But you're out there, and I'm here waiting._

_-Simple Plan "I'd Do Anything"_

"Come on Mai! Can't you run any faster?" Her swift and rushing friends had swept far ahead, leaving her behind. She gave a little growl and made a slight effort to pick up her pace.

"I don't want to speed up," Mai grumbled. "Wouldn't it be better to walk and enjoy and enjoy the day? Why can't we do that?" Her humble opinions were met with a plethora of laughter. "Don't be silly!" they said. "How are we going to get anywhere if we don't run? It's the best way to travel."

'Maybe I'm already where I want to be,' she thought to herself. 'I wish they could just break away from the norm for once.' To her friends, all she said was, "Well you guys go ahead, I'll catch up to you later. I want to take a walk through the park that just opened up. I've heard it's beautiful. If you wanted to, it'd be great if you could come with me."

Not surprisingly, they shook their heads. "We'll see you later Mai!" they called, as they continued on their venture home.

"It's for the best then," she mused, slowing down to an even calmer pace. Her busy mind was hurriedly slipping out of its school-day focus. She loved to be able to appreciate the sereneness of solitude, but her opportunities for this were rare. She loved company as much as she loved her solitude, so she was always with one friend or another. Her brain didn't dwell on this though, and instead turned to wonderings concerning her destination.

The newly built park was supposed to be beautiful. It was a block away from where she was then, located right near her home. The city had promised that it was going to be spectacular. Mai loved trees and plants, all of which were much to rare in the busy city she called home. It gave her heart a thrill to walk through a forest, or a beautiful park, and just take in the majesty of nature. The visions calmed her, and the walking cleared her heavily-burdened mind. It was hard to forget that restless feeling that continually stayed with her, but the steady, uneven pulse of her feet on the ground pushed it away, and she could relax.

She found the entrance easily, and strolled in, hoping to be surprised. She was. It was indeed beautiful,- shady and cool- a delightful retreat from the busy and worried days of the city. The path, made of small stones, was smooth and easy to tread upon. A short, wooden marker lined both sides of the walkway, a subtle warning to "keep off the grass". She would have much rather been treading upon the lush, green grass, but it didn't sit well with her to break such a rule on her very first visit. There would be time for that later.

Many other people seemed to have had the same idea that day- apparently walking was becoming a popular pastime. More than once, Mai's solitary ramble was broken in upon by the chatter of little groups of her fellow park-goers. She traveled along by herself, until she found a secluded path that no one seemed to be using.

As she dreamily meandered along, she was arrested by a sudden surprising sight. A young man, with half-closed heavily lidded eyes seemed to be napping under a tree. He was leaning against it and the impression was conveyed that the park had been built around him. He seemed to truly belong- as the grass and flowers belonged- to fit in as a component of the park, but Mai immediately sensed that he was absurdly out of place.

She was unable to move; she was unable to even pull her gaze away from him. Something about him was so familiar that it was unsettling. She had never seen him before, yet she could swear she had known him for all her life.

As she still looked him over avidly, his eyes shot open. Instinct turned her away quickly, and she began to hurry away. Embarrassment came to make her face feel warm, and she hoped that he didn't think she was some sort of a nut, who often stared at strange men. She never even turned back to see what his reaction was.

Truthfully, he didn't even notice she was there. His eyes had in fact opened, but they saw nothing. At that moment, the only vision he possessed was that of his weary spirit. A nightmare had haunted him again. He noticed nothing though, and so could be offended by nothing. The girl had mattered so little to him, that he hadn't consciously acknowledged her presence. So her pounding feet were ignored, as well as the tiny gasp she hadn't realized she'd made when she first came across him. He ignored it all, and let out a sigh.

When she could no longer sense him, her pace slowed down to an easy walk. It was a strange experience: to not even know that man's name, and yet be sure that she knew his heart. She left the park after that, and finally headed home.

Upon arriving, her mother and younger sister smiled and greeted her pleasantly. The asked how her day at school went, and gave her more than enough cheerfulness to calm any restless feelings she had. After dinner, her mother read the girls a poem, in a familiar nightly ritual that had been in place since Mai's early childhood.

'I'm so glad I'm not alone,' she thought to herself. 'This is my home, and I know that these two will always be there for me.' Her thoughts began to drift back to the man from earlier. 'I am so lucky, to at least be able to pretend like I belong.'

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There! chp. 3. I'm putting up chp.4 soon, like in an hour. So look for it. Review please!

Love and PEACE! -A.D.D.


	5. 4: Kindness can be Found

A.D.D.- I have another chapter up! Yah!

R.- You're an idiot.

A.D.D.- Hey I'm the genius who came up with this story, aren't I? Now. Do the disclaimer!

**Disclaimer- (R.) **A.D.D. doesn't own Inuyasha, and she probably never will, unless she can find it on e-bay.

I just want to thank all the people who were kind enough to review my story. I really keeps me inspired to continue. Enjoy!

**Chapter Four: **Kindness Can be Found

_That best portion of a good man's life,_

_His little, nameless, unremembered acts_

_Of kindness and love._

_-William Wordsworth_

That strange man was still there underneath that tree. It had been three days since she had noticed him first, and he hadn't moved. Yukina was worried, though she didn't know who he could be, or what his story was. She lived in the nearby village and it was impossible for her not to see him as she went about her day. Being incurably curious, she had to know what was going on.

She worriedly went to check on him, afraid he was hurt. Approaching him cautiously, she leaned up to him and gently touched his shoulder. The moment he felt her fingertips he became instantly alert. His hand shot up and grabbed her neck. She let out a strangled gasp and said, "Please don't hurt me! I only want to help you, let me go."

He hesitated a moment, and realizing his strength had diminished so much that it would actually take effort to kill her, he unceremoniously released her. "I don't need your help. I am capable of taking care of myself. Leave me."

"But you haven't moved for three days!" she said with concern. "I've watched you and you look so sad. Why? Can't I be of any help to you? Would you like food? Anything?"

"You've been watching me?" he said warily. She rolled her eyes and said, "There's no need to be offended."

"I should have felt that," he said, more to himself than to her. "But I did not even notice. My senses are so dull. I cannot bear this."

"Do not overly concern yourself about it. All I really did was happen to notice you laying here. You looked like a soldier just returned from a gruesome defeat. It was..." she didn't want to say pitiful. "...it was not a pleasant vision. Let me take you to my village. We can take care of you. All the people there are kind." She grinned broadly. "I'm sure you could recover. I can see that your strength is waning." 'You would have snapped my neck if you had been in better condition,' she thought to herself.

He refused to look at her. "I have once already declined your help. Why must you insist upon pursuing this foolish quest?" After a moment he added, "Why would you want to help me in any case?"

She shook her head at him, silently chastising him for being so naïve. He felt that, and let out a low growling sound. She almost gave a short giggle, but managed to refrain from insulting him further. She simply smiled and said, "Oh, I'm only trying to be a good person. I want to help my fellow man and things like that."

His face fell at that comment. He just spit out coldly, "Oh what a noble cause, I'm sure."

Not having encountered much sarcasm before, the girl was a bit perplexed by the tone he used. "Well, yes, I suppose," she said, "but let us not talk any longer. Come, follow me to the village."

She held out her hand, smilingly trying to coax him into joining her. The old self still buried within the strange transformation was fighting hard. It insisted upon attempting to put a stop to all of the curse's effects. For though he did not wish to change his heart and his mind, he had become human, and a veritable floodgate of new feelings had been thrust upon him. That curse was deeper than he knew, and only a true reformation of the spirit could pull him from a darker fate.

Because of his own confusion, and the growing ache in the pit of his empty stomach (humans need to eat more than demons he realized), he grabbed the offered hand. The girl was visibly delighted. "That's alright," she said in her brightest manner, "I'm sure you will be happy here, and you can stay as long as you want. You can learn to belong. You won't have to feel so sad and lonely anymore."

He sighed almost inaudibly, not intending for the girl to hear. She did however, and was a bit concerned. It was going to take more work than she thought to get him out of his shell. He was amazing to behold, for he did not look like any man she had seen before. She was saddened that a creature so beautiful would have had to suffer so much, but obviously his destiny had already been decided.

"Your heart is heavy, isn't it?" she asked. He didn't respond, and she knew she was correct.

He could feel her tiny fingers lacing themselves between his own. She obviously had no idea how very much against his rules prolonged contact was. The girl thought he was an ordinary man, a lonely mortal just like herself. She could never imagine what he used to be.

She would never be able to believe the destruction and heavy death that lay in his past. There was no way the pathetic girl that looked at him with pity in her eyes could even bring herself to think about such mass chaos and ruthlessness. He was _almost_ sorry that she was so trusting. Almost.

"Why do you pretend to care so much about me?" he asked suddenly. "You do not even know me. I cannot understand this."

'Damn,' he thought. 'I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. Do all humans go around blurting out their every thought?'

She chuckled a bit and said, "You see, I am not pretending. I do care about you. Though I know you but little, it is true that I do not even know your name, I do care. We are both human, we are both living and breathing, should not I try to help you if I can?"

"I don't need or desire help. I should rather rot."

She was a bit shaken by that. "Why do you say such things? Surely that's not how you really feel? Would you honestly choose death over life?"

"I have nothing left that would be worth living for."

He pulled his hand away from hers, and widened the distance between them. She was even more compelled to see that he found happiness once again after hearing that, and something told her that she was the balm he needed.

"You are a better person than you think you are," she said. "Any soul that has not been consumed by darkness deserves to exist, and I am sure that you are a good and honest man."

'And I thought you were so perceptive,' he thought to himself with a dry internal laugh.

"So you do not think evil deserves to live then?" he asked. "A dark soul deserves to be destroyed?"

"Only if it has no hope of recovery," she told him honestly. "And whatever dark deeds may lie in your past, you have the potential to be healed." She closed the gap and took his hand once again. "You have found kindness," she whispered, "do not throw away all that I can give you. You need only open your heart, and the sickness you cannot rid yourself of will be gone."

He turned his head slightly to give her a fleeting glance. They were already at the outskirts of the little village, a few people waving and calling out to the girl. He heard the word "Yukina", and knew that that must be her name. Not knowing what else to do or say, he came up with only one thing.

"Sesshoumaru," he said softly.

"What was that?" the girl-Yukina- asked.

"You do not know me yet, you said you did not even know my name. It is Sesshoumaru."

And with that, the girl gave him a genuine smile.

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A/N: Well, just so you know, Sesshy doesn't fall for Yukina. It's definitely gonna be Mai. OK.

Please review and tell me what you thought. Thankys!

Love and Peace. -A.D.D.


	6. 5: The Man who Awakens her Heart

**Disclaimer:** Alright, alright, it's true! I don't own Inuyasha. Happy, now?

**Chapter Five: **The Man who Awakens her Heart

This world, this world is cold 

_But you don't, you don't have to go_

_You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely_

_And no one seems to care_

_-Good Charlotte "Hold On"_

He had stayed at that village for almost an entire day. The girl had barely let him have a moment alone. He had eaten, and was completely recovered. His back was still stiff from being in the same position for three days, but begrudgingly he realized that he did feel better.

Yukina peeked into his room again. "Are you doing well, Sesshoumaru-san?" she asked politely. It was the first time she had spoken to him in hours.

"I am fine," he answered coldly. "Though perhaps a little overcrowded." She didn't get the hint.

"Do you need anything? Would you like some cool water? Or are you ready for a morning meal? You haven't eat yet."

He looked up at her with disgust. Then he stood and proclaimed in a manner that could have frozen a fire, "If I need anything, I can get it myself. I am leaving." And he did.

Proudly he marched out of the little house- and straight into Yukina's father. "Hello," he said jovially, crushing Sesshoumaru in a friendly embrace. "I am glad to see that you are have turned out well. Yukina was worried about you, though I can't see that you were in very much harm." He laughed.

"Otou-san," Yukina said, "please be nice." Both seemed oblivious to the short look of undisguised rage and shock that quickly flashed upon their guest's countenance. He was very close to slitting the throats of them both. He felt a pulse at his side, and quickly realized that Toukijin was eager for a kill.

It dawned on him suddenly, the noisy chatter of the villagers drowned out by his thoughts. He was no longer strong enough to wield Toukijin. The rage he felt at all the world came suddenly pouring out in a low savage scream he let loose from somewhere deep. Yukina and her father both backed away in surprise, and the girl timidly raised a hand to him.

"Are you alright?" she whispered. "Are you-"

But her voice was cut off as he slapped her hand away. She put the offending appendage behind her back, and looked away at the ground. This time her quiet voice was almost inaudible. "Gomen, Sesshoumaru-san."

"I am leaving!" Sesshoumaru cried out. "I want nothing to do with you pitiful humans. I want to be left alone. I cannot live like this any longer!" And with that, he turned and began to walk away. He got about twenty paces from them, when he broke into a desperate run.

"Will he be alright?" Yukina asked. "He is still sick."

Her father looked over to her sadly. "I do not know if he will ever recover. He hasn't got any physical ailments; it is his mind and heart that have been infected. But he will be back, my daughter. He belongs nowhere. I know that he will come to call this place home, if only for a short while."

_Sesshy P.O.V._

_'Those fools. Did they not realize how close they came to death? If I had been angered further, I would have unsheathed Toukijin with no thought to the repercussions. And they would have been destroyed. It is possible I would have even become possessed, and ultimately met my demise from my own former servant. I am beginning to think it wise to rid myself of it._

_And that is the last straw I can handle. I will not be reduced to this. If I cannot exist as I once was, then I will not exist at all. My resolution had been made.'_

* * *

Modern-day 

It had been noted by more than one person, that Mai had been frequently walking in the city's newest park. She was there almost everyday after school for the past week. Her friends were curious; they could see no attraction in the meager patch of grass, though apparently Mai had found something that kept her coming back. She was drawn there, and the reason was simply- for the others- impossible to see.

"I'm home!" Mai called happily, racing inside her family's small apartment after a busy Friday of school. Her younger sister was doing her homework in their family room, and their mother occupied the seat on the couch beside her.

She took a sip of her coffee and smiled at her eldest child. "How was your day?" she asked. "Exceedingly tedious," Mai replied. "I am worn out. A nice soak and then bed is just what I need."

"Do you have any homework? I want it finished before dinner, please." Her mother coughed lightly.

Mai sighed. "I'll get it done, I promise you. And I want to know why you are coughing again. You aren't sick are you? I am worried about you." It was very likely that her mother had contracted another illness. She had recovered from a bout of pneumonia only two weeks ago, and both of her daughters were eager to see her rested and well again.

"I am fine Mai," she said sternly. "I am taking good care of myself, and I expect you to respect my decisions." Not talking about her health being one of them.

The youngest girl, Sakura, put down her paper and pencil and said brightly, "Let's go to that new city park! Beautiful! Take me please Mai." She smiled hugely.

Covering their small snickers at the little one's not so subtle attempt to relieve the short tension, the two eldest nodded cheerfully at her suggestion. "I trust you to take care of her, Mai," she told them. "I'll stay here if you don't mind. This weather doesn't exactly agree with me."

And the two set off.

Mai was more that excited to see her "mystery man" again. He had haunted her thoughts for days, and finally she hoped that she would have the courage to speak to him. Every time she went for a stroll, she tried to inconspicuously pass him by. There was a strange pleasure she got just from seeing him, though he never saw her. It was very strange the first time she saw him walking around. Normally he was at his same spot at the ancient tree. On passing, Mai couldn't help but flush a little, and one eyebrow raised as he held her gaze for a mere second. Apparently she wasn't as inconspicuous as she thought.

In fact, the man had noticed the girl who had been innocently stalking him. It was just a fact, and he didn't think anything of it, except brief annoyance at her persistence.

That particular Friday, as Mai and Sakura walked happily along, the man happened to be just waking up from a nap on a hard wooden bench. A bright flower caught the youngest's attention, while different sort of beauty had captured the eldest's eye. As casually as she could, she walked over and sat next to him.

Deciding not to even pretend he didn't know who she was she bravely said, "You're here again." He looked annoyed at having been spoken to. "Yes, that would appear to be true."

"You don't have to be rude about it, I was only making an observation. I noticed that you always seem to be here. I come quite often myself, and so I'm familiar with the whole place. But you don't seem to really belong."

He didn't respond, nor seem to even notice she had spoken. "Aren't you going to say something?"

"You're right. I don't belong." He looked at her directly for the first time. And she was absolutely struck by his eyes. At first gauging him to only be a few years older than herself, those golden mirrors told of ages of knowledge. Yes, they were wise and lovely, but that was not why she couldn't look away.

There was a deep, mournful expression there, wet with his strong, piercing gaze. It was all too perceivable that he was still scarring over from a torrentially painful past. The sadness within him was buried and hidden; he did not want to open his heart. But that look in his eyes didn't lie. There was pain and suffering, and the passionate struggle of his heart ot overcome it.

"Well I'm sorry," she said.

"And I suppose you wish me to ask why."

"No, but I will tell you anyway. I am sorry for you, because you don't belong. Everyone needs to belong somewhere. I know that you only meant the area that surrounds you now, but your attitude indicates you feel the same way about the world."

She hoped that he would say something- anything- so that she would know how close she had hit to the mark. They had never spoken before, though she must have seen him so many times. That brief exchange of words, however, had sparked a connection between them.

'I want to get to know him,' she thought. 'I want to make him see that he can have a friend.'

He looked down at the ground for a moment, then slowly he stood without a word, and began to walk away. "Wait!" she called, "Where…when…"

He faced her again and shook his head. "I do not believe in goodbyes. I shall probably be here tomorrow." Then he left.

As she gathered Sakura and headed home, Mai found herself to be very frustrated. Every word he spoke was full of implied and hidden meaning. All of that short conversation replayed in her mind as she headed home. 'Does he want to see me again?' she asked herself. 'Why would he have left like that if he didn't? But then why would he have been so cold if he did? I'll just try and forget about him.'

She was fooling herself however. She didn't want to forget about him. And deep in her heart, she wanted to help him. Hers was a soul that could not stand to see pain. Never would she leave a being that was so steeped in sadness alone and without a friend. As she lay in bed that night, she came to a decision. The hint was enough. She would see him… "Tommorrow."

* * *

A/N: I was actually kinda displeased with this chapter. It didn't turn out at all like I had hoped. However, it did relay some necessary information, and set the foundation for later chapters. I'll fix it later.

Once again, THANK YOU for reading! --smile--

Love and Peace to all, -A.D.D.


	7. 6: O Brother, How You've Changed

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**Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Inuyasha.** Thank you.

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Hello! Back again with another update. I want to thank all of you kind enought to review, and just tell you to enjoy the story. It's finished! Yeah! I just have to type all **19 **chapters on the computer and upload them. This is only the sixth... Anyway, on to the story. Also, I upped the rating because of this chapter. It deals lightly with the subject of suicide, and I don't want to upset anyone. Also, language is teeny bit worse.

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**Chapter Six: **O Brother, How You've Changed

_I'll paint it on the walls_

_'Cause I'm the one at fault _

_I'll never fight again _

_And this is how it ends_

_-Linkin Park "Breaking the Habit"_

He ran; he ran as fast as his feet could carry him. He wanted to run away from everything- run away from all that he felt. Some things, he had decided, were too much to bear. A human had bested him, and had transformed him into that which he despised. He, himself, was now a human, and it made his blood boil with rage to even look at his own body. At the shore of a small blue lake he stopped. That was the perfect place for his plan; no one would be there to do anything about it.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when Kagome finally decided that it was time to stop. "Inuyasha!" she yelled to the half demon running ahead of them, "We're tired. There aren't any jewel shards nearby, and we've been looking for three days. It's time for a break." 

"Feh!" Inuyasha said grumpily. "I'm sure Naraku is near. We only need to look a little further. I'm not giving up yet!" "Come on," Shippou whined, "Kagome is right. You just don't want to admit that you're tired." "Why you-"

But Inuyasha never got to finish that sentence, because upon noticing his fist precariously raised above a certain little kitsune's head, Kagome chose that moment to yell...

"OSUWARI!" And BAM! he hit the ground with a resounding smack. Miroku held back a snicker and said, "Perhaps you'll listen to Kagome now. You really shouldn't threaten innocent children."

So the rest of the group walked off peacefully, looking for a spot to relax, leaving an irritated Inuyasha behind. "Wait for me!" he yelled. They went on through a calm forest, not really meeting with anything of interest. It had been slow going lately, for there was not any trace of a shard, or the evil Naraku. All were eager for a chance to build up steam, or a good fight, in Inuyasha's case especially.

Soon they came upon a clearing between two large stretches of forest. It appeared to be nothing more than a lush meadow, and a small crystal lake. The whole group cautiously walked through, on the lookout for any danger. They didn't see any however, and so happily made their way over to the sparkling water.

"Oh no, look!" Kagome cried, "There's a man in the water. It looks like he's drowning." "So?" She glared daggers at the hanyou. He grumbled, and not wanting to once again awaken her wrath, he trudged over to the poor bather. "Hey," he said, nudging him with his foot, "are you alive?"

The man didn't look to be injured, other than the fact he was lying motionless, facedown, in a deep pool of water. It appeared as though they were too late. Just as the others came up to Inuyasha, a low growl was heard. The man slowly raised himself up out of the water. He started to speak, when his voice was caught by the sight of those standing over him. It seemed his day was only getting worse.

* * *

Sesshoumaru stared angrily into the face of his younger half-brother. Obviously they did not recognize him, and it must seem to them that he was just an ordinary, pathetic human. But he had proven just moments ago, that he was not an ordinary mortal at all. He had stayed the night at the lake, wondering how to break the curse. He half imagined going after the old woman for answers, but the thought of begging a human for help utterly repulsed him. 

He glared up at Inuyasha, a tell-tale expression on his face. A flicker of recognition crossed in his brother's eyes, but it was not enough to start a flame. "Are you alright?" a young girl asked him sincerely. She was the girl that followed his brother everywhere, and he knew that she was the reincarnation of a powerful priestess.

"I do not need your worry," he said scathingly. "I am fine." He stood and walked a little further away from them. Then he sat himself down, underneath another tree. "You almost died," Inuyasha said briskly. "Don't you care?" The only answer he got was a glare.

Shippou, having wandered away from the group for a moment, suddenly came upon something surprising. "Kagome! Inuyasha! We need to get out of here! I found something!" He ran over, and accidentally bumped into the man. He was puzzled for a moment, and then it all clicked together.

"AAH!" he screamed, trying to scramble away. "Run everybody, run!" But he was caught and pulled back. He felt a jerk at his neck, and felt his feet being pulled off the ground.

"You recognize me now, do you?" Sesshoumaru whispered quietly. "I see. You must have found where I had hidden my swords. I am not the same any longer, as you can well see. It would be more difficult to kill you. However..." he let the last words hang in the air.

All the others soon noticed poor Shippou's predicament. "What's your problem?" Inuyasha asked. "Let Shippou go." He dropped him, and Shippou scurried over to hide behind Kagome. "You are not a normal man, are you?" Miroku asked. "You intended to die."

"Houshi-sama," Sango said, "what are you saying?" She looked over at Sesshoumaru. "Such a strange face. Why do I feel like I've fought with you before?"

Shippou looked around at everyone in turn. "Stop being stupid!" he said. "Don't you know who this is?" They all just shook their heads. "It's-" "That's enough." Sesshoumaru interrupted. "My scent has changed, and they never spent time memorizing my face. I am not looking for your acceptance or your pity; I will pay no heed to whatever you think. But it is truth that I am not who I seem."

"Then who the hell are you?" Inuyasha asked impatiently. "Cut the crap and spill it." Kagome looked curiously at him for a long moment, and then gave a strangled gasp. "Oh..." her eyes widened, and her mouth was hanging open. "It's a human," she said in a whisper, "but it's... it's... Inuyasha, it's Sesshoumaru."

Wanting to prove that his adoptive mother was indeed correct, Shippou rushed over to where Toukijin and Tenseiga were hidden. With some effort, he pulled them out. "Look!" he commanded. "This is evidence. It really is Sesshoumaru."

They all stared at the man- speechless. No one could utter a sound. He finally sighed and said, "Well, little brother, care to gloat?" He walked slowly past them to stand at the shore of the lake. "I angered an old run-down hag, and she chose to turn me into..." he looked down at his own body in disgust. "...I'm a worthless human now. And yes, I was hoping I would drown..."

Inuyasha stared at him in blatant disbelief. "Are you serious?" He suppressed a desire to laugh at his now helpless older brother. It was a cool breath of revenge to see him squirming in a form that he could not bear. But suicide... that was a little overboard for Inuyasha to really be rejoicing at.

Sesshoumaru whipped around to face him with an expression of pure rage on his face. "Why would I joke about something like this? Do not say such foolish, stupid things. You see that I am powerless now; I cannot even control my own sword." He cast an involuntary glance toward the bundle Shippou still held. "This is not how it was meant to be. It must be such fun for you, to see the half-brother who has always looked down upon you, and ridiculed your inferiority, to be reduced to a state such as this. I hate myself now, Inuyasha! Go ahead, say one more word."

But he wouldn't. It was unnerving to see Sesshoumaru so upset. His features were contorted by his anger, and his new, ebony-dark hair lay in disarray all around his face. He was almost unrecognizable as the same collected demon they had fought many times before. Kagome felt a surge of sorrow swell up in her heart, as she saw a desperate look enter his eyes.

"Here is your chance, hanyou," he whispered. "I am sure I am granting your fondest wish. Take the sword at your belt," everyone cast their eyes to the famous sword. He said the next part in a tone so low the humans had to strain to hear him. "And strike me down."

They all looked at him in shock. "You don't mean that..." Kagome said softly. "Stay out of this girl," he retorted. "I am going to die right here, and right now. It puts an even more poignant twist on the tale, that the sword I have always desired, is going to be the one that will end my life. Do it Inuyasha."

Time stood still. Every being there waited for the deciding moment to come. But imaginary seconds just ticked away. "What are you going to do Inuyasha?" Miroku asked him, breaking the fragile, tangible silence. "This is a decision you have to make now." "I know that you stupid monk!" he spat back. "But it isn't as easy just to do it."

"Any why not?" Sesshoumaru asked him coolly, stepping closer. He spread his arms wide, leaving his broad chest a target impossible to miss. "I don't deserve to live. Think of all the things I've done. I do not regret them at all; wouldn't you love to be the one to finally defeat me? This is an open chance. Take it now, damn it!"

Almost reluctantly Inuyasha drew the sword. "No, you can't!" Kagome cried. "He may have been horrible in his past, but this is a new chance for him. Everyone deserves a second chance." Her eyes started to squint up. "Even Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, even he needs another chance. He's depressed and angry right now, and killing him would only put blood on your hands. Don't..."

As much as he would like another chance to fight his brother, he knew the girl was right. It didn't matter if Sesshoumaru was begging him or not. He couldn't kill him, not when the fight was this much in his favor. "I... you're right Kagome. I won't kill him." Sesshoumaru looked at him with an unreadable expression. "Why? End my suffering... this is not what fate was supposed to deal me."

"You said it yourself," Inuyasha replied. "Your past sins were great. This is how you must atone." It was a mark of just how intense the occasion was, for even the usually abrupt and blunt hanyou spoke with a solemn and deeper air. There was nothing any of them could do for the once proud demon. He would have to live- somehow.

"This is a punishment worse than any I could have imagined," he said stonily. "And my efforts surely would have been fruitless in any case. I could not drown, so why should a sword be able to cut me down. I am going, and I... I do not know if I shall ever live again."

It was difficult to watch him defeatedly trudge away. Suddenly, a flash of memory came to Kagome. A certain conversation with her cousin and the man she was engaged to came to her mind. "Sesshoumaru," she called after him uncertainly, "I was told to tell you that... that you will be happy. One day, you will find your sun."

He shook his head. "No." All his hopes were gone, and any sanity or pride left was crushed against the rocks of imminent immortality. The words of the curse struck him as he recalled the day in his mind. He couldn't die... There was only one place he knew to go- the village with the absurdly trusting girl. Perhaps there he could regain his bearings, or find a way to lift the unbelievable burden placed upon him. Nothing mattered to him anymore, and he parted from his brother for one final time, leaving both his weapons behind. Toukijin was evil; Inuyasha was instructed to destroy it. Tenseiga never served him well anyway, and he saw no point in keeping it. A tinge of guilt, because of the new humane part of heart, was felt at leaving his father's last gift, but his mind told him to ignore it.

There was nothing left for him anymore, and in an instant he became numb. His soul gave up on everything. Everything became nothing...

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**A/N:** Well, this chapter took a while to write. I am so pleased at how this story is going, that I just had to stay up and finish. But I am so tired. Oh, and I feel a little guilty. I stole an idea! The intense conversation between the brothers was inspired by another show. (My favorite of all time!) I did change the words (a lot), but I don't own that either. 

This may be my favorite so far... but it's kinda sad. Review if you wanna.

Love and Peace! -A.D.D.


	8. 7: Friendly Suspicions

**A/N: Hey, I'm back! I haven't updated ina week or two, but I hope that I'll be able to do a lot more soon. This is a good chapter if I say so myself, and I liked writing it. But no more pointless talk. Read!**

**Disclaimer: A.D.D. doesnt' own Inuyasha. Ok!**

**Chapter Seven: **Friendly Suspicions  
_And inspirations that we deem our own,  
__Are some divine foreshadowing and foreseeing  
__Of things beyond our reason or control._

_-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow from "The Sound of the Sea"_

That Saturday, Mai returned to visit the man that didn't belong. Her mind was telling her to be careful; she didn't know a single thing about him, and yet she was still traipsing off to see him, throwing caution to the wind. Her heart had different ideas, however. It screamed to blatantly disregard her mind, and follow wherever it led.

Mai was the kind of girl who believed in something more than luck. She never brushed off an amazing happening as merely "coincidence". To her, everything was planned and predictable. People led lives according to their own choices, but the final destination couldn't be escaped. And she held a firm confidence in her own intuition. Right then, it told her to see him, and so she knew she had to listen.

There wasn't much time for anything other than a brief hello and a couple of short sentences. She had promised her neglected friends that she would spend a few hours shopping with them that afternoon. They would meet at the giant super-mall the city proudly boasted, and spend all the money they had. Mai was not against the prospect, but there was one mission that she had to complete first.

She walked into the inviting entrance, her eyes skillfully searching him out. There were more people there than she was used to; she noticed scores of them mindlessly meandering the winding roads that swirled throughout the park. It amused her to study their faces. Some wore obvious smiles, happy with whatever life had given them. Some were impatient as they tried out the advice that walking could relieve stress, or waited to return to the normal routine they had momentarily broken out of. Or the face she fixed her eyes on was sad and lonely, looking for a release from whatever it was that they didn't want to handle. Those were the most beautiful to Mai, and she felt compelled to wish them find the happiness that they needed.

So absorbed was she in her little game, that she failed to notice the face she was staring at was the one she had come to find. It stood out of any crowd, and it made her heart soar to be given the chance to gaze at it for but a second.

"What are you staring at, girl?" he asked her coolly, walking over to join her. "You," she replied honestly, without pretense. "I was wondering how you would look if you were smiling." All he said, as for a moment they traveled a combined pathway from their separate roads, was "I do not know how to smile."

"I knew that you would come," he told her suddenly. "You have been stalking me for days, and to be practically invited must have tickled your fancy beyond belief." She chuckled a little at his odd use of language, but her mind interrupted her fit with a pleasant thought. 'I knew I was right. He did ask me to come back.'

"I cannot stay long. But I won't deny that I wanted to see you. I enjoy seeing you, whoever you are, but I'm not stalking. I am just satisfying a curiosity." They walked side by side, and it pleased her to see it. He was a veritable giant, and consciously he was shortening his stride to match hers. "I am only humoring you because I feel like I have known you before. Or perhaps you are just another dream I have forgotten to wake up from."

"No," she said, smiling at him. "I am quite real." A few more steps passed in silence. "You had better go," he told her, stopping unexpectedly. "I may not be in such a good mood very much longer." "Alright, but I'll be back to see you again." As they turned their separate ways she swore she heard him say, "That's what I was afraid of."

Three girls stood waving outside a huge structure, finally spotting their wayward friend. "It's so good to see you Mai," Yumi said. "Why have you been avoiding us lately?" "Yeah," Sara agreed, "We haven't seen you in days." Mai smiled sheepishly and said, "Oh, I've just been preoccupied lately. But I'm here now, so let's go!" And she ran in ahead of them, waiting to be followed.

The three girls exchanged glances. They might not have been geniuses, but they weren't stupid. They could tell when something was going on with their friend, and as they ran after her, they made a silent resolution to find out exactly what was up.

There were so many stores, shops, boutiques, and businesses of every nature that one could spend an entire day doing nothing but shopping and still there would be places left unexplored. Mai and her friends decided to limit their ventures to strictly items, which were wearable in nature.

All the girls loved looking through the different shops, finding what suited their four particular tastes. The conversation was pleasant too, and Yumi, Sara and Risa were ecstatic to finally catch up with their elusive friend. She had been acting much stranger than she usually did, and they wanted to know the reason.

While in her favorite store, chosen for just that reason, they decided to corner her. "Okay Mai," Risa said, "you had better come clean. What the hell's been going on with you lately?" "I hope nothing's wrong," Sara said worriedly. "How's your mother doing?"

"It's nothing like that," Mai said, waving the thought away quickly. "It's not my mom or my sister or anything to do with my family." "Then what it is?" Yumi asked. "Is there a reason you've been avoiding us?" The four of them walked down to the next rack in the store. "I haven't been avoiding you, not intentionally at least." Risa looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh, and so why haven't you answered our calls or hung out with us a single day after school for the past week?"

A guilty sort of feeling rose up in the pit of her stomach. Mai thought rapidly for a moment, but quickly decided that the truth would be the best option. "I've been walking every afternoon. I just thought that you guys wouldn't want to come."

Risa looked at her like she was crazy. "You expect us to believe that load of crap? Oh come on Mai. 'I've been walking'? What kind of reason is that to blow off your best friends?"

Yumi gave Risa a look that said "Be nice" and Sara just looked down at the floor. "We really want to know Mai," she said. "If anything's up, you can trust us, you know." Yumi took control of the conversation and said, "Look, we understand that something's going on. You could at least let us in a little bit, Mai. We're not going to laugh at you or anything." "Honestly," Risa huffed. "Don't be so paranoid."

"I'm telling you the truth, guys!" she said in earnest. "I really do just go walking." The tone of voice she used told the others that the conversation was over. They weren't getting anything else out of her.

As the four walked out of the store, the three conspirators let Mai fall slightly ahead. "Well," Yumi said in a whisper quite unlike her usual placid tone, "if all she does is walk, let's find out what's so interesting about that little park of hers." "Wow Yumi," Sara said in awe. "That's a great idea. But, it sounds like something Risa would have thought up." Risa just laughed. "She's right you know; I'm a bad influence." Yumi rolled her eyes.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in a cute little boutique that Sara recommended. She put out a suggestion so rarely that the others almost always went along with whatever little idea she had. "Have you heard the news Mai?" Yumi asked her, wanting to steer away from the previous subject. "Risa's got a new boyfriend." "Oh my gosh, really?" she asked excitedly. And for the first time since they had known her, Risa blushed.

"He's not anything special or something like that," she fumbled out. "He's just nice and stuff." Mai and Yumi exchanged knowing glances- obviously Risa was practically in love with him already- and Sara just giggled and told her that her face was turning as red as a cherry.

The four girls talked and shopped for a little while longer, until Sara realized that it was getting late. "Sorry guys," she said, "but I do need to be heading home. I'll see you later!" After she left, Yumi and Risa began to think of a plan as they walked quietly behind their other friend.

"After school Monday," Yumi said, "we should ask her to do something with us again." "Okay," Risa agreed, "but I bet she's going to say no. What's in that park anyway? Nothing could be so interesting that it took up every afternoon." "I know," Yumi said, "but obviously she's found something that's a lot more fun than we are." Risa made a "hmmph," that clearly meant "nothing could be more 'fascinating' than me." Yumi chuckled.

Mai, not really paying attention to the other girls, did not notice their plotting. She was humming to herself, thinking about the homework she had waiting for her at home. Her footsteps took her slowly towards her home, but her eyes weren't really looking. The sun was getting lower in the sky, not quite dark, but not early afternoon either. A beautiful day was coming to an end, but Mai was just glad she had gotten to experience it at all.

Suddenly Risa said, "I'll call you later, okay Mai?" She looked around, snapping herself out of her daydreams, and noticed that they were already at her home. "Alright," she said smiling as she waved the other girls off. "I'll talk to you later, or see you at school." "Bye!"

She walked into the building, and then rode the elevator to her family's apartment. They had lived there ever since she was little, even when her father was still alive. He had been in a wreck when Sakura was just a baby, maybe six months. She didn't remember him, but Mai did, and she missed him a lot.

'I'm just going to depress myself," she thought. 'I haven't thought about that in a long time. I'll just push back in my head before I go in.'

So with a sigh, she pushed the door open and walked inside. Her little sister and her mother were watching a tv show together, and Mai couldn't help but smile at the adorable picture they made.

"How was your walk with your friends?" She asked politely, as Mai came in there with them. "We didn't walk," Mai replied, "we went shopping instead. I got a really cute new shirt." She held up a bag. Her mother smiled. "Alright, honey, I'm glad you had a good time."

The next day passed by, and soon Mai found herself at school again. "There you are Mai," Risa said grumpily, "we were just talking about you." Yumi elbowed her, and she let out an "Ow!" Mai looked at them strangely, but she didn't say anything. Sara smiled and said, "They're just being themselves, Mai, come on and let's go to class." Mai cheerfully nodded and let Sara lead her into the building.

"BRRIIING!" The bell rang, and finally class was over. "The day's over," Risa said happily, stretching her arms out. "Damn, I wish it was the weekend." "You just had a free day yesterday," Yumi told her exasperatedly. "You really need to get over your little "school is hell on earth" attitude. It gets old." Risa just grumbled to herself.

"Hey Mai!" Sara said suddenly, proud of herself for memorizing her lines so well, "Do you want to go and hang out with us this afternoon?" "Well," Mai said uncertainly, not wanting to hurt her friend's feelings. "I really don't think I'm going to be able to Sara, I'm really sorry though." "It's okay," Sara replied, still looking cheerful. "Maybe another time, alright?" Mai just nodded as the three girls walked off.

'Well that was odd,' she thought to herself. 'Usually Risa would start questioning me and Yumi would roll her eyes, and Sara would sigh. Huh, I wonder what's up.' But she just shrugged, unable to find a suitable answer to her own question, and set off walking towards her next destination.

With the three conspirators--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Move over Sara," Risa said, shoving the other girl. "I'm sorry Risa, but there really isn't that much room. I can't move any more or she'll be able to see me when she walks past." "Well then let her see you! I don't have any room." "Will you two be quiet?" Yumi hissed lowly. "Why?" Sara asked happily. "Do you see her?" "No, but you're giving me a headache." Risa growled, and promptly got smacked. "Ow..."

Just then, they heard something. "I recognize that!" Sara said excitedly. "That's Mai!" Risa rolled her eyes. "We know it's Mai, you moron, we can hear her too." "Oh. Sorry Risa."

Yumi shushed them, and the three peered cautiously over the edge of the bushes they were hiding behind. They saw a few people pass by, but Mai wasn't one of them. "Do either of you see her?" Risa asked, "Because I think that we just imagined that we heard her voice. This was a stupid idea."

"What if she knows that we're here?" Sara wondered fretfully. "Maybe she's avoiding us because she doesn't want us to know what she's doing here so much. We really shouldn't pry." The others exchanged a glance. "I think Sara could be right," Yumi said. "Let's walk around to see if we can spot her." "Whatever," Risa sighed out, standing up. "I just hope she doesn't catch us. You know how pissy Mai can get sometimes." "Don't worry," Yumi assured her as the girls began to walk. "We're just acting on a few... friendly suspicions."

Mai and her new excuse for exercise---------------------------------------------------------------

Though she hadn't wanted to admit it to herself, all through school that day she had been thinking about him. Her mind was occupied with something a long cry away from any type of school work.

That afternoon, she still allowed her feet to carry her towards him, not even thinking or suspecting for a moment that her friends were trying to discover her lovely new secret. She had had a dream about him the night before, and so her mind was set on trying to get something out of him. Thinking about her firm decision, she said to herself, "That cold, lonely man with the beautiful eyes, I wonder why he is so hurt. I still haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I'm going to ask him today. I will confront him, and surely I'll be able to discover the scars he is hiding. I feel like I have to know."

He was, of course, where he could almost always be found. She wondered if he ever even left that tree. The wind blew softly around him, whispering otherwordly secrets to him, making his mind the only key. It was a sight easily overlooked, but Mai decided that it was the perfect opportunity.

Walking over, she said, "Hello," in a would-be upbeat sort of voice. "Good to see you again. What are you doing?" He just looked at her like she was a fool.

"Only being," he replied. I am still here." He sighed. "I can't seem to stop existing." She was a little worried by his reply, but she chose to cover it up with annoyance. "Why do you talk like that? Can't you be more normal? Or something like it at least?"

He didn't even look at her, just raised an eyebrow. "No."

Calmly, and trying not to get too exasperated before she got to finish her self-appointed "mission", she said, "Today might be the last day I'll be coming here. I..." she paused, thinking of a good lie. "I've just gotten very busy lately. All this walking takes up too much free time."

He didn't answer; he hadn't even turned to look at her when she spoke. Truthfully, she had hoping to evoke some sort of response in him, but it did not seem to be working. She wanted him to say that he would miss seeing her, or that he was glad she wouldn't be "stalking" him anymore, or anything really, because she didn't want just his silence.

They both remained there motionless for a few more moments, until Mai began to feel awkward. She shifted her feet a little, and said, "Since we won't see each other anymore, I was hoping you could do me a favor."

His attention was captured at last. "Well that depends on what it is, doesn't it?"

Frustrated, she gave an exaggerated sigh. "I'm not going to ask you for anything difficult. All I want is to ask you a question."

"But you expect an answer."

"Is that too much for you to handle? Isn't the point of a question usually to elicit an answer? You treat me rudely usually, and you ignore me when I try to hold a conversation with you, and my only goal is to try and help you. Please do this one thing. With only a little complaint."

Once again, her words didn't seem to reach him. She was about to decide to walk away forever, when he said, "Why do you want to help me?" A smile crept up on her, though she did not bid it to. The short sentence meant that he was at least slightly interested in her, though only the smallest bit. Mai knew that she was finally making progress.

"I don't really care, you know," he continued, seeming to know exactly which lines her thoughts were taking. "It just seemed like I deserved a question as well."

"Fine. Your motives are your own. I can look in your eyes, and I see an ancient wound that you still bear. It's so deep that it even hurts to have to watch the pain you carry. That's why I want to help you; I want to see you heal."

For a moment, she saw a faint expression flit across his face. "You want to see me... heal?"

She blushed slightly and said, "Look, I just hate to see people suffer. Kindness is something that everyone deserves. I try to help everybody though, so don't think that you're a special case."

"Of course not. Although it would be my luck to be the only being unlucky enough to have you relentlessly pecking at them."

She could tell he was trying to flare her up. "Actually, most people appreciate the help I give them. Most are grateful for my, what you have termed, 'relentless pecking'.

No reply. He stared off into some great beyond, leaving her in the world of the living while he faded into a dream.

Suddenly she heard a familiar voice. "Do you see her Yumi?" A loud female was saying. "I know that she's here. She's always here." "We'll see her soon," a voice that obviously belonged to Sara returned. "We just need to keep looking."

"Oh no! My friends are here; they must have followed me. If they come here, please don't tell them that you saw me. I don't want them to know about you yet." She looked around, then ducked behind the tree he was casually leaning on.

The girls came around the bend, still searching. "Maybe we should call her," Risa said. "Mai! Are you here?" "Hush Risa," Yumi commanded. "I don't want her to know we're looking for her. It will seem better if we just appear to be walking on our own."

The strange man still stayed motionless at the great trunk's base, unfazed by Mai's flight. They might have said something to him asking if he had seen her, but he was too intimidating.

After they left, following down another path, Mai came out of hiding. "I'm sorry about that. I have really nosy friends."

"Some would say that you are blessed to even have friends, nosy or not."

She was going to reply, but she couldn't think of anything to say. He was right of course, as she had noticed he usually was. Though she had never really considered it before, she was lucky. Upon her silence, he seemed willing to open a little more. "I suppose that's your name then. I heard one of those creatures talking about a 'Mai'. I can only assume that that was in reference to you."

She nodded. "Yes, I am called Mai." She thought for a moment then asked, "What about you? Do you have a name?" He looked thoughtful. "I did have an identity once, but it has faded with the long passing of time. I'm not even sure I know who I am anymore. But yes, my name was Sesshoumaru."

She felt strange suddenly. It surprised her that he had actually told her. She was really unsure of what to do next. So she said, "Well, that's a... nice sort of name." "I don't care if you don't like it, you know."

Mai flushed. "Yeah, I know that. And actually, I do like it." "Oh. As you wish."

"That's a cryptic response. But anyway, can I ask you my question now?" And please answer it." "You already asked. You wanted to know my name, and I told you. Isn't that a normal question and answer scenario?"

She wasn't amused. "That wasn't what I intended to ask you, though. A only thought that since you found out my name, I was entitled to know yours. You didn't really have to answer that one."

"But I did answer it, and I feel I owe you nothing more." He looked at her, and she knew that he was only acting that way to make her even more frustrated. "Please Sesshoumaru, why do you have to be so cynical all of the time?" "I am not being cynical," he answered. "I only want a little from you," she said, "and that's all. You don't understand. I feel compelled to help you, and I think that I've finally found what I've been looking for. I think that you may be part of the destiny I've been so earnestly looking for. Why can't you see that I'm meant to help you?"

She didn't want to appear upset in front of him, but he was just crushing her sincerity under his heel. Her silly conclusions might be true, and she needed to know whether they were or not. She wanted so badly to know if he was meant to be part of her life.

His eyes looked towards her again, and they betrayed a longing. "Don't do that girl. I'm not going to mean anything to you. Soon you'll forget about me, and that is when your true destiny can begin."

"No! I know that this is right. Don't tell my about my life."

"Are you going to keep pestering me until I consent to try to let you help me?" "Of course." She smiled. "You got it." "Fine. Then I will consider the offer. Perhaps you can satisfy this foolishness of yours quickly, and with very little inconvenience to me."

Mai was very happy. "Thank you," she said, and then looking at her watch to see the time, she turned to leave.

"Mai," he yelled out at her, "I have not agreed yet." She smiled again and looked at him knowingly. "Whatever you say." Then she was gone.

* * *

End A/N: Okay everybody! I am so glad that this chapter is finished. I think it's the longest one yet.I tried to put more of Mai's friends in the story, because I didn't want the ENTIRE thing to be conversations between Mai and Sesshy. Anyway, thanx for putting up with the story this long. Review please! And then read chapter 8! hee hee.

-A.D.D.


	9. 8: Sesshy's Clouded Mind and Mai's Cloud...

**Chapter Eight: **Sesshy's Clouded Mind and Mai's Clouded Heart  
_Praising what is lost makes the remembrance dear. -William Shakespeare_

Disclaimer: inu... not mine... sigh...

A/N: Hello! I am in a good mood; don't know why! I'm sorry to all of ya'll reading this if the plot is moving... s-l-o-w-l-y, but this is the last chapter like that. Actually, this chapter is really important to understand Mai and Sesshoumaru's "relationship", but if you don't like just mostly conversation, then might as well skip it. Enjoy!

_500 years ago_

Sesshoumaru ran still, and it did not look like he intended to stop anytime soon. The rage that was boiling in his blood grew stronger, until he was afraid that the scratching veins underneath his skin might burst from such a pressure. There was nothing left for him to do. He couldn't take much more of this uncertainty, because he felt it was slowly destroying him.

As he neared a village, he heard a voice cry out to him. "Sesshoumaru-san! You came back!" His pace slowed, and he saw the same girl he had met earlier waving to him happily. He growled, but let himself go meet her.

"I am so glad you came back," she said happily. "I have a very special surprise for you." She started to run ahead, calling to him to follow. He slowly came as well, letting his feet guide his unhappy mind.

"Look!" Yukina said, pointing over to where a group of children where playing. "Do you not see someone there that you know?"

He raised an eyebrow and looked, but nothing seemed to be familiar. He looked back at Yukina, and saw her grinning so ecstatically, obviously expecting to be the deliverer of some wonderful news. A sudden urge came over him to just wipe that smile off her face.

But then he heard a loud gasp, and a following silence. "Sesshoumaru!" A voice called, and then something slammed into his legs. He looked down, and saw his own little girl staring back up at him. "Rin," he acknowledged.

She let go of him, and bowed. "I am sorry, but Jaken-sama and I have not seen you in days and days. Jaken was afraid that the old witch had killed you, but I told him that I knew you were still alive." She looked up at him again, and her eyes grew wide. "You... you have changed, Sesshoumaru-sama. Are you a...." she was too afraid of his response to finish the question.

He clenched his fists tightly at his sides, feeling his dull fingernails cut into his skin. "Yes, Rin, I have changed." He looked off towards the distance, staring at nothing in particular. "And I have never hated myself so much." His whisper was so low, only Rin and Yukina could make it out. Both exchanged a glance, worried about the unstable man.

Sesshoumaru stayed there at that village for about two years. He never really fit in with the others, and the only people who tolerated him well were Yukina and her father, and Rin. Even there, she happily stayed beside him, becoming fast friends with Yukina and the other village girls. It was a boring life, but he grew numb soon, and almost forgot the pain that was constantly eating at his heart.

The day finally came when he knew he had to leave. His nights had been plagued with dreams- horrible dreams- of all that he used to be. His conscience had appeared, and with a vengeance, and guilt wracked his soul when he thought about all he had done. But the numbness was satisfying, and he could forget and be indifferent. Except... he didn't want to go on as a shell. So he gave his firm goodbyes, and the next morning he was gone. He wouldn't let himself look back.

__

Modern Day

Mai couldn't concentrate. School was boring. All she wanted to do was get out and go see him. 'Sesshoumaru', she thought to herself. It was already Wednesday, and she hadn't been to see him since the weekend. Her plans for him were great, but convincing him would be a much different story.

That afternoon, she did go to the park. And he was there, as always, stiff and cynical just like she remembered. A conversation was attempted, but she was the only one who actually put up topics, and he was really more forced than a willing participant. She loved how he could be so cold and uninviting one moment, but then instantly change to being sarcastic and funny. His volatile personality was not like what she was used to, but it certainly made for a fascinating study.

She went to see him almost everyday. Her mother and her sister were getting worried. They had no idea where she went so often; all they could ever get out of her was a simple "I'm going for a walk." Even her three best friends were completely clueless. They were still concerned, but none of them had really mustered the courage to demand that Mai explain herself. The iciness that she had first encountered was melting, and she made it her mission to see him through till the end.

A certain something was definitely beginning. Would it be going to far to say that Mai had a little bit of a crush? No, even to the random people the couple encountered on their walks it was obvious Mai liked him very much. She thought, of course, that she was only worried about him. She thought that there was nothing more to it than her instinct to help. Her heart was clouded, and she could not see how much she cared.

His heart would be difficult to attain at any rate, and whenever she imagined his mysterious smile, or the wind dancing in his long hair, she simply told herself that he wasn't worth her time. All the effort couldn't be worth the result, she instructed her mind. Mai had never been in love, and she didn't think that this new case was any exception. After all, he was just another lonely man.

__

Sesshy P.O.V.

_I'm tired again. Sleep doesn't come easily. Why, after all this time, am I beginning to feel any different? Hope failed me long ago; there is no reason to bring it back now. I do not wish to be stuck like this for the remainder of eternity, but I would be fooling myself to think that that girl could be the one to help me._

_She's practically a child! Not more than eighteen I would say, and she has the audacity to think that she could heal me. I am beginning to believe she wants to be "friends". I hate that word. Hell, I just hate people in general; I don't do the "friend" thing at all. Ever. She's pushing her luck, and... pissing me off. Hmm, next time I see her, I'll..._

_Damn it, I think I actually want to see Mai. She's a human, and she always has been. I'm different; I'm better than that. Didn't I decide long ago that I would redeem myself on my own: that I wouldn't need to call for aid? But she... she does offer it willingly. I didn't have to ask. She seems like she looks at me and sees all the way through me. _

_Do all humans have that power? I still don't understand my fellow creatures. I would have supposed that after being one for five hundred years they would piqued my curiosity. And this damned conscience. When I was... Before, I could just bury it. Humanity does such odd things to the soul. Strange that I finally discovered I was never as bad ass as I would have liked to imagine. Maybe my intelligence increased as well? No, five hundred years is just a hell of a long time to cope with your own sins._

_Reflection... oh damn it all, reflection just blows. No one needs to spend this much time alone with themselves. I almost crave social release: conversation, argument, anything really to get this out of my system. I still feel like a giant block of ice. I am numb, and I am almost completely drenched in this alone. But I've never been particularly gregarious, and loneliness is foreign to me. I've always relied on my own instincts._

_Blame this on the world, I have no desire to feel guilty. How many times have I wondered why I didn't just listen to that little girl? Why did I have to anger that stupid woman? If I had only... if she hadn't been lying there... But of course, I could reflect all day and my situation still wouldn't change. I am stuck in this immortal, inadequate body. I won't burden that stupid girl with my troubles. She probably wouldn't understand me anyway. And all I need now is someone pitying me. I hate pity._

_Looks like I don't have a choice. Here she comes again. Maybe I should move once in a while, the thing always knows exactly where to find me. Probably thinks I live under this damn tree..._

__

Normal P.O.V.

"Hello," she said softly, walking up to him. He was so still, sitting there as though the earth itself could not shake him off. 'I wonder what he's thinking about,' she wondered. 'I'll bet his mind is blissfully blank. Perhaps the thoughts that so obviously haunt him are finally being banished.' Not getting a response from him, she sighed, and feeling bold, sat down beside him. 'I'm lucky he is always here. I hope he doesn't figure out that it's so easy to find him, then he'd definitely move.'

"What do you want Mai?" He asked tiredly. "As you can see, I am in no mood to give consequence to your petty attempts at the redemption of my soul."

"Redemption? Is there something that you still need to atone for?" A brief look of surprise and worry flitted on his face. "No." She sighed again. "Fine. Then at least walk with me." "Oh, so sorry, but I really desire nothing more than to remain here, feeling indolent."

"Why do you talk like that?" "Like what?" he asked, feigning complete innocence. "Your worse than a damn dictionary, and I know you realize it." "My sincerest apologies if your inchoate mind doesn't comprehend my above-elementary level language." His eyes betrayed his faint amusement. "I swear, I think you enjoy teasing me." She looked at him in her best attempt at an exasperated face, but he didn't even acknowledge it with a glance of his own.

"Of course I do," he replied openly. "What other diversions have I? You tend to be an excellent medium for my scarce entertainment." "Very well. I do actually enjoy our talks, whether you care about that or not." "Rest assured, I do not."

She rolled her eyes and stood up. "I have to go," she said. "But maybe I'll see you tomorrow?" He dismissed her with a wave of his hand. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." She rolled her eyes again. "You're losing your touch. Can't think of anything original?" "Oh I can, but all my replies would be wasted on you." "You're just too kind Sesshoumaru." She started to walk away, but she suddenly turned back around.

"Thank you," she said. "For talking to me. I don't care how rude, or how caustic your comments become. You still speak, and that makes me hope. I'm glad we can be friends." He gave an inaudible growl, and hissed, "I am not your friend." She smiled, a common parting gift between them. "Yeah, tell yourself that if it makes you feel better. And as much as I love this cynical repartee, I really have to go. Goodbye!"

__

S.P.O.V.

_I'm much too lenient with that girl. She shouldn't be allowed to talk to me like that. I don't care how much I actually enjoy it. I shouldn't care about her at all..._

__

Mai P.O.V.

_He's finally coming around. I swear, I never know what to expect when I meet him. Maybe one day he'll enjoy it as much as I do. We really make a great team. And I do want to see him smile. True kindness can be put off a little longer; I know this is what he needs._

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
End A/N:_ Okies, that's the end of chapter eight. I actually had fun writing this; I loved imagining what goes on in Fluffy's head... and my version is probably far from the truth, but I don't care.

Coming up: Chapter Nine- Finally friends  
Sessh: 'Damn, I hate that word.' Our heroes finally... talk some more. Meanwhile, there is very bad news concerning Mai's mother. Warning: Actual plot returning to the story!

Thank you to everyone reading this, I appreciate the time you take out of your day to do it. -A.D.D.


	10. 9: Giving In

**Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Inu. Isn't that right my little penguins? Yes... hu-hah!**

**A/N: **Yah! More Only Human chapters! This is short, and may seem to be a little not... flowing exactly, but it is a very important- VERY important- chapter. I think. It just... well, read it and you'll find out. Yah!

**Chapter Nine: **Giving In  
_I must be cruel only to be kind; thus bad begins, and worse remains behind. -William Shakespeare_

"Okay Mai," Yumi said, cornering her after school. "What is it you haven't been telling us?" Risa nodded and said, "We don't like being blown off. What is so important that is takes up all of your time?"

Mai swallowed nervously. Her friends were kind, certainly, but she hated that they had to be so nosy. A million different lies surfaced in her mind, ranging from moderately believable to "the aliens made me do it!" All she wanted was to help him, but apparently her actions required explanation. Skimming over certain parts of the story, she decided to finally reveal the truth.

"Well Yumi, if you must know, I've met a boy." "A boy?" Sara asked excitedly. "Oh Mai, how sweet. Is he nice?" Yumi smiled graciously at her and simply replied, "Oh."

Risa was the only skeptical one. "Yeah right, that's a load of bull. You could have told us if it was just some guy, but you had to go sneaking around. Tell us the truth."

"I swear I am. Honestly, he's just sort of... different, and I wasn't sure if you would really like him." "If you like him Mai," Sara said wisely, "then of course we're going to like him." "Or at least respect your right to," Yumi amended.

Still a little concerned, but happy with an answer, her captors released her immediately. "I've got to go meet him now," Mai called, running towards her new haunt, "but I'll tell him that my friends want to see him soon." "Okay!" the three replied in unison, watching her go. "He better be gorgeous," Risa said, "because I do not feel like being blown off for just some other ugly dude."

Sesshoumaru stood up, having sensed the presence of his favorite stalker. He wanted to surprise her, and planned on walking aimlessly until she happened to run across him. However, his plans were quickly foiled when she noticed him before he had even rounded the first corner.

"Hey!" she called after him, "Wait for me, I want to talk to you." He rolled his eyes, but he did stop. "And I suppose my desires matter not?" Finally catching up to him, Mai said, "Sorry, but I couldn't care less what you want."

"Fine." They started walking slowly, easily keeping the other's pace. Sesshoumaru seemed even more distant than usual, but Mai kept the observation to herself, and happily chattered away.

"Mai," he said suddenly, interrupting her flow of speech. "What is it?" she asked quietly. "Why do you come here so often, to talk to someone who barely replies, and it's in insults when he does, when you could be off with someone who actually cares what you have to say?" "You do care, Sesshoumaru," she told him. "I don't know if you realize it or not, but do you honestly believe you would let yourself put up with me if you didn't at least like me a little?"

"You remind me of someone I used to know, a very long time ago. I haven't thought about her in so many years, and I'm not sure I want the memories to return." "Sometimes you just need to let yourself remember. Yes, it can lead to pain, but would you want to forget all the happy memories that were made as well?" He looked at her for a moment then said, "For someone so young, you certainly make a logical point." "I know."

The talk picked up a little after that; even the silent man had a little to add. Mai was beginning to understand him a little better, and that made her very glad. Conversation was easy for them to achieve, even if it was about trivial things. Slowly they made their way around the park, until they found themselves back at their usual meeting place. "Do you think it'stime for me to go?"

He shrugged, and once again sat down. "If you desire to leave, then please do so. I have no inclination to talk to you any longer." She sighed, and sat down beside him. "You know, eventually you're going to have to give me a chance. I'm going to be around as long as I can." He gave a noise in his throat that sounded vaguely like a growl. "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

"Because." With that, she stood and dusted herself off. "I'm going to go now, but I promise you I'll see you again soon." "Don't even bother," he said. "I'm tired of this. You are really getting to be nothing but a nuisance. I will say it one more time: Leave Me Alone." She opened her mouth, but he cut her off with a snarl. "Don't Mai. This 'friendship' won't ever work. I am not going to tolerate this any longer."

She glared at him, and said, "This isn't a joke. I'm really serious; I really want to be your friend." "Well, I don't give a damn." She looked at him for a long moment, and finally sighed. "You don't mean that." "Yes, I do. I refuse to be bothered any longer."

Mai turned red, and stared at Sesshoumaru for a long moment. "What made such a sudden change? A few moments ago, you were talking to me so easily. Now, you are being so cold. I really thought that you were an intrinsicallygood person. And I still believe that I can help you. One day, I hope you will see that too." And she turned and left him behind.

_Sesshy P.O.V._

_There. I knew that it was something I had to do. She was wrong. I'm not going to regret this; I do not regret. She had it coming; we were never meant to be 'friends'. Damn it, I hate her. She isn't right. I know that she needs to get over this. Damn it; this fight was what was supposed to happen. Damn it!_

Regular P.O.V.

Mai walked out of the park in a daze. She was sure that he didn't mean it. But all that she could think about was the look on his face. Hewas so hard to decipher sometimes, and she was certain that his emotions could change at the drop of a hat. Still, it did hurt her, even if it was just a little. Obviously, he couldn't handle the thought of being happy. It made her feel almost... sorry for him.

She walked up the stairs, and opened the door to her home. The lights were out, and it didn't look like anyone was there. 'This is strange,' she thought. 'The door was unlocked. Mom and Sakura are usually always home this time of day.' Suddenly she heard a faint sniffle.

"Is that you Sakura? Is everything alright? Where's mom?" Mai walked into the living room and bit back a scream. Her mother was lying motionless in a heap on the floor, and her younger sister sat crying beside her. "What's wrong with her Mai?" Sakura asked, looking up. "I can't get her to move. She won't wake up. I wanted to call the doctors, but..." Mai nodded. She understood. Sakura was easily upset, and seeing her mother unconscious would make it impossible for her to think clearly.

"Don't worry," Mai assured her, coming down beside her to check on their mother. "I'll take care of it." Five minutes later, the proper medical authorities had been alerted, and someone was coming to pick up the woman and take her to the hospital. "I'm scared," Sakura whispered. "Will Mom be okay? I know that she gets sick a lot, but she's always gotten better. Won't she this time?" "I... yeah, Sakura. Nothing's going to happen to Mom. I'll make sure of it."


	11. 10: Tell Me Your Story

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters used in this story, except for Mai, and all the people I made up. Inuyasha does not belong to me. **

**A/N: **Here comes another chapter. It's purpose it to just set up some interesting situations, and maybe give a touch more insight into the minds of the players. I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Ten: **Tell Me Your Story

_And I know I'm buried too far down to feel the warmth of the sun again  
__I could wave my arms and swim away  
__But never reach the shore  
__But for now I will lay face first in the sand  
__With the wreckage of ships that lost their way  
__And I know I'm buried too far down to feel the warmth of the sun again  
_-"Dive In" Story of the Year

Mai and Sakura sat by their mother's bedside in the city hospital. Dim lights flickered above them, adding a touch of artificiality to the all-too harsh realness of the situation. Off and on for years their mom had kept getting sick. Mai had worried and worried about her, but the stubborn nature that even she herself had inherited asserted itself, and the calm woman would repeatedly assure her daughter that she was fine. 'I knew it,' Mai thought to herself bitterly. 'Why couldn't she have seen someone about this? I knew that it wasn't normal to get ill that often. Now she's lying here in this cold, sterile hospital, waiting for what can only be bad news.' She let out a soft sigh of frustration, causing Sakura to look up at her and grab onto her big sister's hand.

This snapped Mai back to her senses. If for no other reason, she knew that she had to be strong for her sister. Sakura was still so young, and she would so often refuse to believe that her beloved world could possibly betray her. Mai laughed frequently at her innocence, having a much more sarcastic outlook on life. Certainly things hadn't ever been truly difficult for Mai, but she had seen enough to know without doubt that the world was as hard as stone.

Suddenly, the two girls heard a cough sputter out. Their gazed turned immediately to the figure lying in the bed, catching instantly the fact that their mother had indeed awaken. "Oh Mom," Sakura said, rushing over to her and throwing her arms around the poor woman's neck. "I knew you would get better." Her mother gave her an indulgent smile.

"I'm not quite better yet dear," she said hoarsely. "But I think that I am healing."

"Why did you wait so long?" Mai asked lowly. "Why did you let it get this serious? You knew that you were sick; even I could tell that you were sick. But you just ignored it, and went on like everything was normal. How selfish can you be? Sakura and I were worried; I can't even tell you what a shock it was to come home and see you sprawled out on the floor. I didn't know what to think; I barely was thinking rationally enough to know what to do. Why couldn't you just admit your own frailty?"

"Mai, please stop yelling at Mommy," Sakura implored softly. "She's sick." "I know she's sick!" Mai fumed. "And I am not yelling!" "Mai," her mother said, "I'm sorry if I messed up. I'm human Mai, we're all only human. What more can you expect from me?" Mai put her hands on her head and sighed angrily. "I don't expect anything from you. I just... I just can't handle this right now."

Her mother smiled. "Please don't be like that Mai. Your sister needs you to be here to lean on for support. You have to be here for her if I can't." "What do you mean if you can't be here? You talk as though you're going to be dying." "I don't know what's going to happen to me Mai. It will be alright."

"No! I won't let this happen to you. You can't die; I won't let you leave us. Why does this have to happen? I'm leaving; I need to get out." And so she left, slamming the door behind her.

"What's wrong with Mai?" Sakura asked her mother, snuggling up even closer. "She doesn't like situations she can't control, and right now, there's nothing she can do to help me." "I hope she comes back soon. You need your daughters with you right now, to make sure you get better real quick." The woman laughed. "Yes Sakura, you're right, I do need my daughters. And don't worry, in her own time, Mai will come back." The two shared a comforting smile as they glanced at the lonely spot the other member of the family should have occupied.

The only refuge Mai knew was one of the places she wanted to go least. It was the place he was, and Mai didn't want to face him, not when she was upset. But her feet still led her there, almost on the verge of tears and alone. She sank down sideways onto a wooden bench, propping up her feet and hugging her knees. Her mind still dwelt on the bad news. Surely it wasn't as bad as she imagined; plenty of people went to the hospital, and plenty of people left it in even better condition. Mai hated things that sent her spiraling; the level of control she maintained was something that she prided herself on, and it meant a lot to her to be able to keep it.

The girl's small snifflings did not go unnoticed. A familiar footfall met her ear, and looking up, she was met with the face that she had sincerely wished she would avoid. His invisible sneer was still infuriating, and it only served to once again rile up her nerves.

"Why are you here?" he asked, for once taking the initiative to speak. But his foolishness irked her, and she only shrugged his well-veiled concern off. In fact, she did not even notice it.

"Because I am upset you pompous moron, and this is the only sanctuary I have. I have been here so often, that it greatly calms me down. If you'll notice, I avoided your usual spot so I wouldn't have to meet up with you, and bother you more. I'm in pain, and I just want to bear it."

Silence. He seemed in no hurry to leave. Then: "I understand. Most people need to rant and complain, but there are some who will not share when they are hurting. They do not realize that it can destroy them. Too much can break you if you haven't someone to help carry the weight."

"Shut up! You already turned down my innocent overtures, do not be so bold now as to mock me by making your own. Besides, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I?"

Mai really wasn't feeling patient enough to listen to any of his explanations. "I was under the impression that you never wanted to see me again. I thought that my friendliness disgusted you. Let me be alone; I don't wish to bother you now." Once again, he ignored the opportunity and didn't leave.

"Maybe you're not bothering me." She scoffed. "What a bunch of bull. Last time I talked to you, you practically bit my head off. So why should I listen to you now?"

He sat down beside her, his side against her back, as his eyes stared resolutely into a nearby grove of trees. "Because I might have been wrong." "You were..." "I know what it is to ache. I know what it is like to walk the earth with no purpose and no drive. My pain had broken me, until you came, and offered me a distraction. We never knew each other, and our conversations were few. But somehow you made me begin to realize that just being me was not so bad. You came and took a little piece of that pain away. You tried to make my sorrows your own. I mislike owing you such a huge favor, so I am just repaying my debt."

She had energy for nothing more than a pout, and she said, "I don't want to have any of my debts repaid. My heart heard yours calling out, and all I did was answering. I was looking for no reward. But your heart is stone; you do not deserve my pity. You don't deserve anything."

"You're right," he said simply. "I'm right? Sesshoumaru... you are not acting like yourself. I am finding it hard to stay mad at you."

"If you only knew what lies in my past, you would fear me- you would probably hate me. It's true; I am horribly cruel." "I know that you are not the most amiable of individuals," here she suppressed a laugh, "but I do not think I would hate you. Certainly buried somewhere in there, kindness can be found."

"Would you like to hear the story of my life Mai? If you understand, then it is likely we will never see each other again." "I thought that's what you wanted." "So did I."

His face was changing. She turned to get a better look at him, and the strangest thing met her eye. His expression: it became more- human. "What are you saying Sesshoumaru? Please, tell my this great story you have.What could possibly so terrible that it would make me hate you? What exactly happened to you in your past? I can tell that it hurts you, but..." she looked away. "Just start explaining, okay?"

He looked at her wistfully, then turned away. His head lowered slightly, a mark of just how serious the occasion was to him. "I warn you, you will not like what you hear."

And so his tale began. Every detail spilled forth from his parched soul. He didn't omit one single fact that he could recall, and Mai's tender ears listened on in amazement. Dry lips told the story of every painful memory he possessed. The deeds he had callously done before his transformation, and the painful years that followed it. It was unbelievable; there were few who would buy into what he said, but Mai just drank it all in. Every word gave more insight than the last.

The person that she had believed she was beginning to know had all but disappeared. At last, it made sense to her why he was always so sad. He wasn't meant to be mortal; he wasn't born in the current form he occupied. He would remain, however, without even death as a release, until he could somehow redeem himself.

"I should have known," she thought to herself, "those eyes were too beautiful to be human."

A heavy silence followed the narrative. It was almost too much for Mai to take in at just one time. He looked at her, and for the first time she had known him, he smiled. "Now do you understand? My disdain for your kind lasted even after I had joined you. Do you see know why it would be impossible for me to be your friend? I could never care for you."

"I don't believe you." Her fists were clenched tightly, and her eyes began to glisten once again. "You lie when you say that you still hate us. I can feel something coming from deep within you. Your soul has it's former shell no longer, and the blackness you hid behind does not even exist. Open your heart, and you will see this also."

"No Mai. That isn't so." "Liar! Why won't you accept the truth? You may have all the weaknesses of the human race, but you also have inherited our strengths. Time makes itself your enemy, while your forlorn heart desperately seeks an ally in the shadows. I know that this is true; I could see it every time we spoke. But you wouldn't even allow yourself that pleasure. You need friendship you great moron."


	12. 11: Away from the Sun

**Disclaimer: A.D.D. does not own Inuyasha, or anything associated with him. She owns the plot of this story, and her oc Mai. Thanx! **

**A/N: **This is my favorite chapter so far. Now, before anyone goes and says, "Ahh! Sesshy's being ooc!" May I remind you that he has been human for five centuries! He's changed! And he finally found a release for his pain. I hope you enjoy. I also don't own Away From the Sun, or 3 Doors Down, cuz I used their song in this chapter.

**Chapter Eleven: **Away From the Sun  
part 1- the most important metaphor  
"_Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none." -William Shakespeare_

.  
_/It's down to this  
__I've got to make my life make sense  
__Can anyone tell what I've done/  
_.

Mai still knew that he was cold; she knew that he was as tough and shielded as ice. But suddenly, she wanted to break through that barrier. There were so many facets to him, that she wanted to see them all.

.  
_/I miss the life  
__I miss the colors of the world  
__Can anyone tell where I am/  
_.

"I never gave friendship a single thought before," he said. "I thought I had all that I needed." "Yes, but didn't you let that little girl travel with you? You didn't even realize then that you weren't meant to be alone?" "I told you," he rambled irritably, "I was convinced that I was content. How else was I supposed to be? I miss that feeling; now I am not sure where I am supposed to go, or what I am supposed to do."

.  
_/Cause now again I've found myself so far down  
__Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place  
__I'm so far down away from the sun again  
__Away from the sun again/  
_.

She felt all her anger towards him falling, just dropping off her like a leaf from a tree. He had come as close to apologizing as he was capable of, and it actually meant a lot to her. She had come to think of the immortal being as someone cast from the same mold as herself, and could almost sense that they shared an intangible quality, too rare to be seen.

.  
_/I'm over this  
__I'm tired of living in the dark  
__Can anyone see me down here/  
_.

"I don't think that you should give up yet. If you truly wish to return to the way you used to be, then do whatever it takes to atone for your sins. Redeem yourself."

"Your plan has a major flaw. I have been searching for a way to do just that for years. And I am no closer to discovering how I am supposed to show that I have changed, or that I have done whatever it is I am supposed to do." He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh that sounded viciously like a growl.

"I will help you Sesshomaru. I don't know why, but I feel like this is our destiny. Please do not push me away again."

He was resolutely silent. A moment or two passed, each second falling like the drop of a steady rain. Then: "I cannot help but give you credit. You are suffering. I can see it written plainly all over your face. Yet still you are relentless in your quest for my salvation. That is true selflessness. Mai, you need to stop to take care of yourself before you can begin work on me."

.  
_/The feeling's gone  
__There's nothing left to lift me up  
__Back into the world I know/  
_.

She looked cautiously up at him with wet lashes and teary eyes. She wondered how he could change moods so quickly. "Will you let me help you once I am better?"

A sigh was his exasperated response. "I am ice," he told her, "cold and unyielding. You Mai, you are sunshine. We are not meant to mix together. I would only melt away."

"Oh, you always have an excuse. Ice is not always cruel, though it is cold. I see in you a beautifully crystal quality, and it will not disappear. You, though as icy as you may be, would melt into a pool of deep, clear water. And as you know, water gladly absorbs any warmth that beautiful star is willing to give. Surely you realize that I am not going to destroy any part of you, I am only going to help you see yourself for who you really are. I would love to be the one to melt away your cold exterior. Underneath, your heart is lovely."

"No, it is scarred and burned. Do not fool yourself into believing we are two of the same. Your heart is lovely, not mine."

.  
_/And now again I've found myself so far down  
__Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place  
__I'm so far down away from the sun  
__That shines to light the way for me to find my way back into the arms  
__That care about the ones like me  
__I'm so far down away from the sun again_/  
.

* * *

part 2- finding comfort in each others arms  
_To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. -David Viscott_

She wanted to prove to him that he could be happy. Mai needed to know that Sesshoumaru could accept the way he was, and be content to be as he was meant to be. The world would be always changing, she knew this, and she hoped he would realize it as well. But all else aside, all she really wanted to do was help him.

If he truly was a demon in his past- an entirely different sort of being- then she knew that it would be hard for him to open his heart. He had already shown that his internal conflicts were great, and while his new soul was human, she imagined that a piece of how he used to be still remained. And that was what made him such a challenging piece of work. "I wish that you had told me all of this before," she said. "I feel like I'm meeting you now for the first time, and all our previous encounters were only part of a dream."

.  
_/It's down to this  
__I've got to make this life make sense  
__And now I can't tell what I've done/  
_.

"I didn't know that it mattered. My past is now just that- the past." It was obvious that he wanted to end the discussion. "Now, tell me why you came here today."

So Mai gradually relayed the story of her mother's illness to him. It started simply, with no real cause for alarm, but over the years it progressed to something worse. Her worst fears had been realized, and now her mother lay in a hospital bed, waiting for what could only be a slow, painful demise.

Mai confessed to him that she was afraid. And Mai tried to always be brave- to always be strong. Her sister Sakura, who was still young, wouldn't be able to handle losing their mother. Already their father was gone, and those wounds were still deep. She shed a few squeezed out tears, and though her face was red with shame from crying in front of him, it did help alleviatesome of the pain.

Sesshoumaru almost didn't know what to say. He felt something strange creeping up into his heart- something that felt frighteningly like sympathy. He told himself that he didn't care, but when he saw that strong, happy girl beside him in tears, it made him feel... odd.

.  
_/And now again I've found myself so far down  
__Away from the sun that shines to light the way for me/  
_.

"Stop crying. I do not know why, but it tears at me when I see you in so much pain. I am not comfortable with this." Then, that confession having made him uncomfortable as well, he changed the subject to divert her mind. "And surely, you are strong enough to be on your own."

"I do not fear loneliness. I would still have my sister in any case. It is the loss of my mother that makes me such a wreck. She has always been there for me, and we have always had a bond. She is so dear to me, that it will break my heart when she is gone. I want her to stay with me, even for just a little longer."

She was close to losing it altogether. Her eyes squeezed shut, and she literally began to weep. "I hate this! I know that she's going to die, but I desperately want to save her. And before I came here... I... I was yelling at her. How could I be so cruel? Sesshomaru, I'm sorry… I can't take this."

She fell onto his chest, leaning on him for comfort and support. Her fists clutched hard at the fabric of his shirt, and her body shook with her sobs.

He was shocked. She was crying on him, balling up his incredibly nice shirt in her shaking fists, and the very fact that she was brave enough to touch him at all still surprised him. The first impression that flitted through his mind was disgust. He half wanted to push her off and leave her whimpering in the dirt. But a small, tiny part of him was whispering to him to console her. It told him to relax, and let her feel safe. In any difficult time, a friend could ease much of the pain.

.  
_/And now again I've found myself so far down  
__Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place/  
_.

Hesitantly, and almost automatically, he put his arms around her. She gasped and her face shot up to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry," she said fearfully. "I didn't mean t-"

But he surprised her. He did not look as he did before. He truly had become an ordinary man... or as ordinary as someone as remarkable as he could be. His features still looked the same, and the cold mask of indifference that he put on as faithfully as others put on their shirts remained tacked in place.

His eyes, however, were what had changed. With all their sadness, and deceit, and passion, they still held in their gaze a triumph. He had overcome the last bit of cruel and heartless feeling left in him at last. And she was so amazed to see that.

"Mai, what have you done to me?" he asked, looking anxious and unsure.

"I am making you better. You won't be ice very much longer." She closed her eyes and leaned against him again. He was warm, and so secure. All of her breaths steadily matched his, and she soon found the pulsing beat of his heart.

.  
_/I'm so far down away from the sun  
__That shines to light the way for me to find my way back into the arms  
__That care about the ones like me  
__I'm so far down  
__Away from the sun again/  
_.

"Thank you," she said. "I feel better now." He only mumbled something that she couldn't quite make out. "I need to be going; I should head back to the hospital. But I don't want to leave. I don't want to go."

He disentangled himself from her, and said, "No, you need to go to your mother. She must need you now just as much as you need her."

She got up, and walked about four or five steps. But before she could get very far, he called out to her again. "Mai! I... I'm going to be here tomorrow. Remember that."

She managed a broad smile for him. "See you then, Sesshomaru. Goodbye."

* * *

A/N: Oh! I enjoyed writing that chapter. The next one should be up sometime after Christmas. (Happy hollies all my readers!) It's as sweet as this one... a little bit more of Mai's mother and what's going on there, and someone else makes an appearance too. tweedles!

Love and Peace! -A.D.D.


	13. 12: His True Nature Revealed

**A/N: **Ack! I've been very slack in my updating. And this chapter is kinda raw and... not as good as some other chapters. sweatdrop Well, I thought I might as well post it anyway, just to get it out of the way. I wrote it, edited it, and it just won't get any better. SO! You have been warned. And I will update a lot sooner this time.

**

* * *

Chapter Twelve- **His True Nature Revealed  
_And since you cannot see yourself  
__So well as by reflection, I, your glass  
__Will modestly discover to yourself,  
__That of yourself which you yet know not of  
__-William Shakespeare_

Mai went and visited her mother again that evening. She was feeling a little embarrassed at her outburst, and apologized profusely. Sakura hugged her tightly and told her that it was fine. And their mother, calm as always, just assured her daughter gracefully and asked that she not worry.

The doctors said that the illness could be fatal. They warned the small family that there was a chance, small but still there, that the eldest might not make it. Sakura's tears came quickly. She huddled up next to Mai, wanting her to negate what the doctors had just told them. But all Mai could do was smile and gently pat her back. She didn't know what would come, and she didn't know what fate had in store for them.

"She might be fine though," the physician told them with a heavy voice. "Remember, there are two sides to this thing. I wish she could have been brought in earlier, but we can still save her." He turned to the patient in question. "You're prepared to fight though, aren't you?" She nodded. "Good," he stated gruffly. "I'll leave you alone now, but don't strain your mother too much alright girls?"

"Alright!" Sakura agreed, nodding furiously. "Mommy's going to be just fine." She looked sadly at Mai for reassurance.

"That's right honey," their mother said, "I'm going to be fine."

The girls, since the mother was reluctant to leave them at home by themselves, were going to stay with relatives for the duration of her hospitalization. It was for the best, and the family they were staying with was kind.

Mai was feeling utterly conflicted. She was worried- terribly worried- about her mother, and often her pensive mood was due to a mind wrapped up in horrid possibilities. Sakura noticed, but being the unsure little sister she was, she chose not to voice her observations. It was hard enough for her, and she didn't want Mai being upset with her to add to either of their troubles.

That night, as the two girls were packing to go, Sakura was brave enough to go to her big sister. "Mai," she said tentatively, her voice small.

"What is it Sakura?"

The young girl paused, unsure how to voice what she wanted Mai to know. "Well, I..." She swallowed. "You're not sick too, are you Mai? You're acting tired and sad, and I don't want you to suffer too. It's bad enough that mommy might die," little tears collected at the corner of her eyes, "but I don't want you to be ill too."

Mai gave her a gracious smile, and opened her arms. Sakura ran and leapt into the hug. "Don't worry, please don't worry." And Sakura just nodded hard, bent on keeping whatever plagued her sister at bay.

Mai's heart was still in confusion in regards to her new found friend. It made her happy to see him, and she guiltily let herself be happy about seeing him the next day. Her mother's condition still worried her, but she allowed herself to be grateful that she hadn't gotten any worse. She tucked herself into bed that night hoping desperately that everything would be okay.

When Mai awoke the next morning, her spirits were raised considerably. She and her younger sister ate a big breakfast, and then headed to school. For once, Mai was able to concentrate on work. Though her heart was full of worry, and fear was in the back of her mind, she did manage to forget very well.

She wanted that day to be another regular day- or at least a day without her troubles. But that wouldn't be, and indeed, it would have been boring to meet with monotony all the time. Her friends didn't even know about her mother yet, and she was anxious about telling them.

But they knew something was upsetting her, and she imagined that truth would be the best. So with wide eyes and gaping mouths they heard the story of what had recently happened. They all insisted upon accompanying Mai to the hospital to visit, for they told her that they wanted to pay their respects as well. And though unable to say it, Mai felt all the kindness of the gesture.

They all walked into the stark, cold room, and could hardly contain their shock. The dear woman was looking much different- and much worse- than they remembered. Her skin was pale and sickly, and her eyes lacked their usual happy, vibrant shine.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," they collectively whispered. "I wish there was something, or anything, we could do to help you."

"Just be kind to Mai," she said in response. "She needs a friend right now."

They sniffed, and nodded, and dabbed their eyes. Then they left, leaving the family to spend some time together.

"A young man stopped by to see me today while you were at school," her mother said suddenly.

Mai was surprised. "Who was it? I didn't know that you knew any young men. That must have been an interesting visit."

"Yes, because actually, I didn't know him."

"What?"

She nodded. "It's true Mai. He told me that he was an acquaintance of yours. Apparently, I've been talked about quite a bit. He said that he had heard so much concerning me that he felt like he almost knew me. And so, as he put it, here he was. Look." She pointed over to her nightstand. "He brought me that beautiful flower."

Mai was left almost completely speechless. She began to move about the room, unnecessarily straightening things, to cover that very fact. For surely, she thought, it couldn't be true. It must have been one of her friends from school. Except that none of those boys knew about her mother. Aside from the girls who had come with her that day, only one other of her- she thought tentatively- "friends" were aware of the situation. And she couldn't believe it was he.

"What did he look like? Did he leave his name?"

Her mother chuckled to herself. "No, he did not tell me his name, and he looked so proud and intimidating that I didn't feel the need to ask. I felt automatically that I could trust him. And it was obvious that he thought very well of you.

"As for his appearance, I can't say that I was really paying much attention. His hair was very long, and it was sleek raven-black. He was handsome. His eyes were hard, but they betrayed a truly kind and gentle nature buried somewhere underneath. Altogether a formidable looking fellow. I can't imagine where you meet people like that, Mai. Surely not from school."

The only response she received was a sigh. "I can't either. I'm just as unsure about him."

After the visit with her mother was finished, she raced to the park to meet him, just like she said she would. No one else seemed to be there, and it was easy for her to find him.

"Sesshomaru!" she called when she saw him. "I need to talk to you."

He came to sit down on one of the park's many convenient benches, silently inviting her to join him.

She hesitantly seated herself beside him, unsure of how to show her appreciation- and amazement- for what he had done. He was being proud and silent, just as he always was. Seemingly oblivious to the tension that was smothering Mai, he turned to her and began to speak.

"I have decided to accept that you won't leave me alone. But I won't let myself completely under your influence, and I refuse to let you pity me."

So all the kindness he had shown yesterday was gone. The friendly moment had been forgotten, and he had no intention of letting it happen again

"I won't pity you," she said, containing a small grin. "You're so mean that I couldn't even if I tried." She looked at him expectantly for a moment, and then plunged into her speech. "I know what you did today," she told him proudly. "And don't you dare try to deny it."


	14. 13: Playing Games

**Disclaimer: **Ha ha! You all think that Inu yasha isn't mine... (voice whispers: "it's not") But I will convince you one day! I shall lay claim and prove that it IS mine! (echo: is mine... is mine... is mine...) (voice again: crazy... crazy... crazy...)

A/N: Yah! I know how much you've all missed me, right? (crickets) Um... anyway! I'm here with another chapter of Only Human, winding down the story dangerously close to ending. But it's good... I hope. He he, I hope you enjoy! There's- once again- a lot of dialogue, but I hope that doesn't deter anyone. Alright, so ONWARD!

**Chapter Thirteen: **Playing the Game  
"_I'll be just fine, pretending I'm not; I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got"_ _-The Used: All That I've Got_

He suddenly looked a little nervous. It was a flicker on his features, so brief that to blink would have been to miss it, but Mai noticed it nonethe less. "You went to see my mother," she accused, obviously bursting with happiness. "She told me today when I went to see her after school. To say the least, I was surprised. Talk about in knock-me-down-with-a-feather shock. And she said so many nice things about the guy, that I could hardly believe it was you. But I know that it was; there's no other explanation. I want you to know that what you did was one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done for me; and I'm not going to let you deny it."

She had been talking too fast to let him voice any protests, but he seemed to be regrouping so she sped off again. "She was so happy that I told one of my 'friends' about her; it really made her day. The flower was beautiful by the way."

"I don't know what-"

"No," she commanded, cutting him off. "I'm not going to let you lie."

There was silence, and he kept his head turned away from her, conveniently keeping her from looking in his eyes. While resolutely resolving to be patient, Mai could not help but be a bit annoyed. She saw no reason for him to be so difficult all of the time

"Well?" she questioned bluntly.

He almost sighed. "Damn. I was hoping you wouldn't find out."

That certainly didn't quell her annoyance. "You idiot!"

"If you're going to insult me you could at least choose slightly better discourtesies."

"Fine! Vexatious bonehead; stubborn jackass."

"Oh, _so_ much better."

Mai held in a growl. "Just shut up for a second. Did you really think that my mother wouldn't mention someone I knew coming to see her? And why exactly did you not want me to know? Your actions really meant a lot to me."

"I just thought it was none of your business really."

"Of course it's my business, it's my mother! I think that I at least deserve an answer to my question. Are you purposely this infuriating?"

"No, it just comes naturally."

"Well, stop pissing me off. You're such a mystery- kind one minute and snarlingly cruel the next. But every time I try to get close enough to solve you, you move away. Can't you just be honest with me?" She ignored the fact that she wasn't being completely honest with him. So what if it had stopped being about merely melting him into his new persona? He would probably be appalled at how she currently felt, and there was no way she was going to push him away farther.

"Being 'solved' does not sound pleasant at all. And at any rate, I'm doing all that you can possibly ask of me. I don't know why I wanted to keep that a secret from you, it just seemed like the easiest-and best- thing to do. It is not a big deal."

"Oh yes it is, I am not letting you play that one down. I was so happy when I found out that you did that, and you are going to let me thank you for it." The silence that followed her speech hung over him like a great 'or else'.

"Really? Or else what? What if I don't let you?"

She was getting really angry then. But suddenly, she realized that he was just baiting her along. He was making her upset on purpose, to distract her from what he did, and probably for his own amusement. She could do the same thing to him. Suddenly it became a game.

Mai smiled her most sun-shiney, sugary sweet smile at him. That raised suspicions immediately. "Don't worry, I'll think of something truly horrible. Now! How do you want to be repaid?"

"I don't."

A sarcastic gasp. "You don't? Such a kind act without wanting anything in return- how selfless of you, Sesshoumaru."

He tensed. "It wasn't meant to be a kind act."

Mai couldn't help but internally grin as he dug himself deeper. "What?" she asked in a tone full of fake disbelief. "You mean, caring enough for me to go see my ill mother for a cheery visit- even bringing her a flower- was supposed to hurt me? Well, if that's the case, then I'd love to see what you'd do to please me."

He looked at her ferociously, a glare etched on his face. Though she tried to hold it in, her act was spoilt by the snicker she couldn't help but let out.

"Do not tease me woman," he said, danger signals in his voice, "do not dare tease me."

"I'm not teasing you!"

"Mai," he warned growlingly, "I am not a patient man. I don't appreciate being treated like a fool. Stop."

Not even noticing his casual use of her name she sighed. "You really can never take a joke."

"Maybe you just can't recognize one."

"Wha- Oh! You big jerk, you were just being mean so I'd stop joking around. You didn't really mean it."

"Well Mai, that's incredibly perceptive of you."

She was getting riled again. "Don't you think that you may have overdone it? Just a little? If I had been anyone else, that probably would have scared me!"

He shrugged. "My goal was accomplished, that's all that matters."

"I'll get you back."

"You can't even compete with me. I am the master at these mind games. Don't hurt yourself trying to keep up."

She gritted her teeth and said, "Oh that's so funny."

Sesshoumaru smirked. She couldn't believe it. Then she said, "I'm still going to find a way to thank you. Don't think you can make me forget about that."

She had guessed exactly what he was trying to do. By teasing her and making her angry, he had hoped to lead her thoughts away from the task she had originally wanted to complete. Now that it was after the fact, he felt rather silly at ever having done the deed in the first place. He almost wished he could go back and undo it. He hadn't wanted her to know about it.

It wasn't his fault that he had felt restless and compelled to wander. The park held no amusement for him that day, and his feet decided to go tread new grounds. It also wasn't his fault that he happened to pass a talkative man on the street. The meaningless ramble was annoying and he had turned to tell the man to be silent, when he caught sight of a bundle of flowers in his hands. All rationality left him then, and a hasty, nearly unbelievable plan formed in his head. He told the man he wanted one of those flowers, and after buying it- which appeared to be the reason the man had been rambling at him in the first place- he headed straight to the hospital Mai had let slip her mother was staying.

So it wasn't even his fault that he had done it. And he really hadn't wanted her to know.

"How do you want to be thanked?" she asked, still persistent.

"I believe I said before that I don't."

Mai playfully pouted. "There has to be something I can do for you."

"No. I don't think so."

Suddenly an idea came to her. "What if I could help you find a way to end your curse? I do know of this strange little shop where they have a lot of things dealing with magic and spells. The woman who owns it may know about these things, and at the least may be able to offer some good advice. Please let me take you to see her."

He was silent. Mai, though admittedly after a long while, had given him a small grain of hope. If the owner did know something that could help, he would have what he had wanted for 500 years. Perhaps he wouldn't put up as much of a fight as he had intended.

Taking his silence as an unwilling consent she stood up. "Well then, come on. Let's go."

"No need, dear!" a voice called from a few bushes nearby. "I don't think that you'll need anyone else; I'm here, and I have all the answers." A short old woman stepped out, looking pale and calmly excited.

"You!" he snarled at her, not bothering to hide his surprise. "You're the old hag who did this to me."

Then he turned frighteningly to Mai. "Was this part of your plan of 'thanks'? Getting this bitch to come here and humiliate me more? She cursed me in the first place!" He faced the wizened figure once again. "Damn you, you wretched sorceress. Damn you!"

"Calm down," Mai told him, scared of what he might do if any more of his mind went out the window. She kept a tight hold on his arm. "I don't know her; she leapt out of those bushes over there! I had no idea, so don't get angry with me." To the old woman she said, "I don't know who you are, but I'm not going to let you do anymore damage. This is my time, and I'm going to help him. Whatever you try to do won't affect that in the least- it just won't matter to me." Then as an afterthought she added, "Why did you change him in the first place?"

"You cannot understand dear, nor am I allowed to tell you. That is his part of the past story in relation to my own. If I were you, I would be more interested in the future of his story, and how that relates to yours."

Mai didn't respond. She looked up at Sesshoumaru, who clearly wanted nothing more than to beat the helpless woman to a pulp, and she sighed.

"By the way," the woman interjected, in a sly tone, "after listening in on your conversation, and of course having kept up with your actions for years, I wanted to tell you that you're free."

"What?" Mai asked, "I don't understand."

"Not you fool. I was talking to him." She nodded regally at the only man there, and surprisingly, he seemed to relax. His eyes were practically begging her to explain further, and the request was granted.

"I have no hold over you any longer. You are free to go on without worry of the future. You are no longer immortal."

"You mean- the curse is broken?" His voice was soft.

"Yes!" She replied quickly, "And I'm glad to see that you no longer want to kill me. But now you have a decision to make."

"A decision? What decision?"

"Well, if you could be patient I am trying to tell you. You have to decide what you want to be. For if you are good, I may just have the power to return you to your youkai form. But then again, you may have grown accustomed to being human. I don't know. And of course, if you do decide to be returned, there will be conditions."

"You're the woman I was telling him about," Mai said suddenly. "You are the one that works at that little shop. I suppose this is what you meant when you told me that you were the helper of destiny."

"Of course dear," the old woman returned. "You couldn't have believed that our meeting was merely coincidental? If it wasn't for me pushing you about your own destiny, you may have ignored this poor soul's cry for help." She disregarded Sesshoumaru's growl, obviously not pleased with being called a 'poor soul'.

Mai continued. "Well if you are the helper of destiny, then don't you already know his? Don't you know then what he's going to choose? Wouldn't you know all destinies?"

"Of course I know what he's going to choose," she answered snappily, "But if I just forced it on him, it wouldn't be a choice. He would come to resent being pushed into it, and think that it was the wrong path. Therefore, his destiny wouldn't suit. I'm perfectly aware of what's in his mind and in his heart; I just wish he would hurry up about it."

After that, everyone was silent. Mai watched him pace slightly, thinking over all of the things that had been said. Then he announced, "Tell me all of my options. What am I allowed to do, and what will the conditions be?"

"What? I've told you already."

"Well," he said, trying to be patient, "tell me again."

Mai stood in the background as the explanation was going on. She watched the scene carefully, but the words just didn't reach her ears. The old woman looked impatient, and the man looked incredibly thoughtful. That surprised her; he had never before seemed so quiet and pensive. He had been silent, certainly, but... that time was different. She wanted so badly to know what he was thinking about.

He noticed suddenly that she was staring. "What?" he asked defensively, his voice gruff. "What is it?"

"I was just wondering. I want to know what you are going to choose. It's your destiny, you can finally start living freely. Isn't it great?"

"Yes," he answered curiously, "I have been searching for his for so long."

Mai forced a smile. "You finally managed to do it. Somehow you redeemed yourself, and you'll get to be your old self again."

He cast a sidelong glance at her as the old woman began to speak again. "To be nice, I'm going to give you twenty-four hours to decide. Spend the rest of today enjoying your human form, as it may be the last time you ever see it. And let Mai come with you. After all, she is the one who saved you." And with that, the strange old woman walked away, humming a tune along with the wind.

"Can I really join you?" Mai asked hesitantly, breaking the silence. "After all, I do owe you a favor."

"Wouldn't it be more of a favor if you would just leave me alone?"

Though his words were sharp, they packed no sting. She was too used to him to actually mind it. She rolled her eyes. "Oh that's really true. I'm going to take that as a resounding 'yes'. Let's go!"

"I won't do anymore good deeds if this is what I get in return."

"Well most people don't want anything in return to begin with. Don't be so selfish, it's not very flattering to you." She grabbed his wrist to pull him into action.

"I suppose you'll give me no choice," he sighed.

She laughed. "Yeah! That's a good boy."

* * *

End A/N: Okies, everyone, another chapter all completed. Now! If you want, review! Tell me if you want Sesshy to remain human or change to be a demon! Ok, so I already know what it's gonna be, but it's still nice to hear whatcha think. And, just a warning, the next chapter is GOOD! Thanx for reading!

LOVE AND PEACE! -A.D.D.


	15. 14: Melted

**A/N:** I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY REGRET! ...I haven't updated in a while. But I hope this is enjoyable. OOH! I love this chapter. Honestly, could I have put more fluff in it? Hmm, only if I had made it longer. I'm sorry it's so short, but don't worry. Now that school's out (and has been for months... heh heh) I shall finish this before September! Now... YOU MUST READ! thank you... Oh, and THANK YOU MY DARLING REVIEWERS!

**Disclaimer: i don't own inuyasha. but man... it would be really neat if i did.  
Chapter Fourteen: **Melted  
"_Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all."  
__-Simple and Clean_

So they spent the remainder of the day together, doing all the enjoyable things they could find to do. They were silent and a bit somber, and though both had a good time, only one would have ever dared to admit it. Equally, they shared the heavy burden of the future, a weight bearing down on their hearts, because it was inevitable that things were going to change.

When at last the sun began to fall below the pale horizon, and the world was well on its way to evening, the time had come for the pair to return to their lives. "Wow," Mai said cheerfully, "that was a great day. Didn't you have a fun time? Come on; admit it."

"I suppose I could have thought of worse ways to spend my time. And... I don't seem to have suffered any real, permanent damage."

"Well good. Do you know what? I know that this isn't the best time to bring this up, but I've been wondering all this time. What do you think could have possible opened up this door for you?" She looked a little sheepish. "Well, what I mean is, why are you suddenly free of the old woman's curse? Have you been doing more good deeds you haven't told me about?"

He sighed, and his stride gradually fell to a stop. "Didn't you hear what she told me? You were there after all."

She turned to face him, looking down with a blush. "I don't know if that's really true. I mean, when you think about it, I didn't do anything. Except, of course, bother you constantly, but that was selfish- only to fulfill the strange need I have to help people."

"Perhaps you were bestowed with that need simply because you were destined to meet me. You told me that you were sure- **sure**- that I was part of your destiny. All the events leading up to now certainly seem to point to that being true. A weight has been lifted from me." He looked at her with a smirk in his eyes. "Maybe you've finally melted me, Mai."

She was so happy she thought she might burst. Truly she couldn't be certain, but for a moment, she thought she saw happiness reflected in his gaze. Could he really be happy? Could it be because of her? The idea was almost too extraordinary to even be conceived. A tempest of feelings raged within her own heart, and sure that he would see it through her eyes- often called windows to the soul- she had to turn away.

"What is the matter now?" he asked impatiently, only just able to hide any real concern he may have felt.

Mai smiled sadly. "Oh nothing. I'm just happy for you. Maybe a little jealous too, that you've finally found and come to terms with your destiny."

"You're lying," he said simply, well enough versed in her speech and actions to be able to always tell. "Tell me why you seem upset. Now. Have I done something to inadvertently hurt you?"

"Oh no, you've actually been much kinder lately. And if you ever hurt me, it certainly wouldn't be inadvertent. I have gotten used to your harshness."

"But... it is because of me that you are unhappy." His skills of perception were remarkable- amazing even, and she should have known better than to try and deceive him. Of course, when faced with the truth, she found deception infinitely safer.

"Not really. Maybe a bit indirectly, but you certainly haven't made me unhappy."

"Oh? And what- indirectly- _did_ I do?"

She shook her head. "No, it isn't important. Silly, really. I don't know why you're pretending to be interested."

"Mai, I'm not going to just push it aside, and I do not appreciate being lied to in the least. Tell me, before I must force it out of you."

"Fine." Her mind immediately sought after a good, quick lie. She was all set to tell him her neat little fabrication, when she happened to sneak a glance at him, and her resolve for falsehood collapsed at the foundations. She just couldn't bring herself to out-and-out lie to him.

"I'm entertaining a selfish wish that can never be realized. It is foolish, and to be honest, it is best forgotten. So don't think about it. I..." She saw the look on his face. He was going to make her tell him. "Stop it! Don't make me say."

His next statement was intentionally brisk and deliberate. "Say what?"

"Are you blind? Are you stupid? Can you really not see what I am sure is so very, very evident? Oh, do not dare do this to me! Don't make me writhe and squirm in more agony. Don't you understand?"

She looked at him with righteous anger in her eyes. The girl's earnestness all but spelled it out for him. Suddenly, he knew, and he realized that he should have known for a long time.

He resisted the urge to back away from her. "No. Mai, that is ridiculous. Impossible. You know that I couldn't..."

She nodded emphatically. "That's why I can't say it! That's why I'm never going to say it. I don't want it to be true. I don't want to be alone, but I know I have to be. It's my destiny, and I accept that. Don't make me tell you this grave, insane secret. Please don't hurt me."

For once, the proud, sarcastic Sesshoumaru seemed to be at a loss for words. He wasn't sure what to say. He had allowed the girl to become close to him- though not initially of his free will- and honestly did have some care for her as well. But she reached a level that was very nearly beyond his understanding. What she herself had always longed for, she had finally found. But what she desired, he could never give. He couldn't ever feel what he could see burning behind her eyes. "There is no other way. I do not intend to cause you pain, but what else would you have me do? I can't, and you know it."

"That's why I do not wish to walk about it! I didn't want it brought up, so I tried to hide it from you. But you can't mind your own business, can you? You had to make me tell you."

Sensing hysterics approaching, he quickly thought of a way to calm the girl down. "I made you tell me nothing. You never told me anything at all, actually. You are getting much too worked up when I only made a guess based on my own inferences. Chances are that I am... I am wrong."

She snorted in dry amusement. "You? Wrong? Do you really believe that?" Her voice got quieter. " Can you say honestly that you do not know what is the truth?"

He wanted to lie to her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. After all, he had his honor. "No. I... I am certain that what I have seen is the truth."

"And I know you're sure but... Do you think that there's any way you could..." She broke off for a hesitant moment. "Because I would like you to stay with me."

She was looking down at the ground. He groaned inwardly, unhappy that the task of comforting her fell upon him. He gently lifted her chin up, forcing her to look straight into his golden eyes. "Where do you think I am going?"

"Won't you leave? There aren't any of you left here, are there? Wouldn't you return to the time you were... the time you were yourself in? I thought that with the transformation the old woman is offering, the past would change as well. But... it would be nicer if you would stay. I want you to stay here."

"I do not think that I will have to leave. You're a very foolish girl you know, prone to ridiculous flights of fancy like that. It's over-reacting really. Though, when I do return to me true form, it is unlikely that we should ever again meet. My range of emotion would not fluctuate as easily as it does now."

She looked at him forlornly for a moment and then sighed.

He was agitated by that. "What is it?"

"You said 'when'. Not if." A determined silence for a moment then, her personality swinging back into positive full-force, "Do you want to know what I think? I think that it would be wrong to change. You may be going back to your old form, but I think that you're in your true form right now."

"No. I cannot be meant to be human. I thought you knew that."

"People change. Likewise, ideas change. Free will is ours; do not think that all things are unalterable. Can't you even imagine that is a possibility?"

"I don't think I can. And I believe I am sorry, Mai."

She wanted to hate him for his close-mindedness, and for the very stubbornness she admired in the first place. But she couldn't. Even if she tried her hardest she would always understand him too well to hate him.

"Then I guess we have no more time left. This was the last day we'll be able to hang out like this, but it was fun."

"You're not going to miss me, are you?" He asked dryly, trying to tease her.

And even though he said it as a joke, intending to lighten her up a little, she found the words ringing in her heart. They did like to tease, but the time wasn't right for anything other than serious exchange.

"Yes, I guess I am."

She smiled up at him. "But don't worry. I don't care if you miss me or not. It was kind of a one-sided friendship anyway. I'll feel better about it if you don't try to be nice."

"I... never really wanted to hurt you," he said again.

"Hmm, do you really think there's a way to do this that wouldn't cause me pain? I know that you will do what you want to do, and I know that I'll have to deal with that. Our wishes aren't the same, and I realize I'm being selfish. I know that I can live quite well with whatever you decide; it's only right to let you be free."

He started walking again, and she followed closely. "Yes," he said in a voice that was almost a sigh. "All this time in this prison of a body. I don't want to endure it anymore."

"Then I won't be selfish. I won't ask you how you feel about me, and I won't ask you to stay this way on my account. It would be terrible of me to even try and suggest such a thing."

"Well," he said tiredly, "then we shouldn't talk about it anymore."

She nodded. They walked on in an uneasy silence, their destination long-since unknown. They just kept going, step after step, until neither one could take it any longer. "I need to return," he said, "And I want you to come with me."

Confusion radiated off of her. He rolled his eyes. "I have something that I want you to see just follow me." She remained where she was, standing still as a post. "We're going to the park, now stop slowing me down." Suddenly, they both broke into a run, feet pounding against the pavement. Rushing, rushing, trying to get to their destination. She followed him, watching his long hair flail wildly in his wake. Faster they flew, until finally they arrived.

He took her through the park, to an old and familiar spot.

"This is what you wanted me to see- a tree? No, change that, a tree that I have seen countless times before?"

"Don't be a fool. Come here." He led her into the grass and behind the ancient, crackling trunk. Her eyes followed his hand to the sky as he pointed out the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

"Wow," she whispered, "it's amazing."

The sun had just reached the land, in that breath-taking moment when you're no longer sure what is earth and what is sky. The blue had begun to fade to the outermost edges of the sun's golden reach, and left in its place a rainbow array of pinks and peaches. Gold colored clouds swam past the soft streaks of rose, leaving a coral and lavender paintbrush to glob the sky with night. Most sunsets are lovely, but that was one that for surpassed so many others. Mai stood transfixed to the canvas, unable to look away until the last drops of molten color fell, giving the stage to the glittering stars.

"I thought you'd like it," Sesshoumaru said softly, his voice holding reverence for the tremendous occasion. "That is the view I get to see everyday."

She was surprised to hear him speak. She had been so engrossed she had almost forgotten he was standing there with her.

"How can you see that everyday, and not be glad just to be alive? Surely it must help to alleviate some of your pain."

"Not all of them are that grand. Only a few. I knew that this would be one of the ones with magic. Remember me; this is the last vision you'll ever have of the time you spent bothering me." He graced her with a smile, and an expression that was unfit to ever be described with mere words. It took her breath away. "Our time together, as annoying as it may have been, is finally at a close." Slowly, he looked away from her and turned full attention back to the sky. Then so smoothly that she might not even have known had she not felt it, he took her hand in his.

She was so surprised that she almost gasped. She looked down at his snaking fingers as they tenderly threaded through her own. It made the moment absolutely perfect.

Never, ever did she want to leave him. Her heart was so selfish, it wanted nothing more than to have possession of his. She loved him so much; no matter how much she tried to stop it, something inside her kept that desire burning. He scorned her, and he would never return her ridiculous feelings. But the things she felt for him... the yearning to love him was an inexorable pull. She couldn't just toss it away. Suddenly, she was overcome with the urge to tell him everything. To have the words come from her own mouth, and not just from his assumptions.

She wanted to tell him so badly- to yell her feelings out to the world. But she didn't want to ruin the one special time between them. He looked so beautiful, with his hair billowing out in the breathy wind, as he majestically stood beside her. He felt so warm, when she knew him to be so very cold. The contradiction sent shivers up her spine. "Sesshoumaru," she whispered softly, "there's something I need to say."

"What is it Mai? Tell me."

"I'm in love with you."

* * *

Alright... you have my official permission to dispise me for that.

A.D.D.  
(In my defence, wasn't that chapter sweet? ...not good enough? Heh, then I'm going to post the next chapter tommorrow.)


	16. 15: To Be Loved

**Disclaimer:** ADD doesn't own inuyasha! But she does love it to pieces.

A/N: I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! This update took way too long. And I left it at a cliffhanger! (cries oceans) I humbly beg for your forgiveness, good readers. I hope this makes up for it, as the story quickly approaches the end. I'm thinking... two more chapters. Yes. Or... one more chapter and an epilogue. Erck... I'll try to post soon. Meanwhile... ENJOY!  
**

* * *

**

**Chapter Fifteen: **To be Loved  
"_Tell me what you thought about when you were gone and so alone. The worst is over, and you can have the best of me."  
_"_The Best of Me" -The Starting Line_

* * *

(Last Chapter)

"_What is it Mai? Tell me."_

"_I'm in love with you."_

XXX

He looked back at her with sadness in her eyes. "Why? It is not meant to be."

"I know. But I had to tell you. I had to say it out loud. I honestly and truly love you with everything that I am. I needed something for closure. Now I can let you go."

Sighing, he pulled her towards him roughly. "Oh damn it Mai, you just have to make everything difficult, don't you? But... what the hell."

Then, taking her totally by surprise, he put his arms around her and drew her even closer to him. He looked at her with an unreadable expression, one that made her positively melt in her shoes. Her eyes closed, and gently, he pressed his lips to hers.

The kiss was beautiful- cold and hot, just like him. It was special, amazing, and it took her breath away. Even though it was bittersweet, she knew that she didn't want it to end. Fire spread from every spot he touched her. It started softly, but turned into a fierce, passionate upheaval of all the feelings that both were sorting through. Confusion, desire, longing, and... in at least one case, bushels and barrels of love.

It ended almost as quickly and surprisingly as it had started. "You... oh wow, you kissed me."

"Hmm, and I was afraid you wouldn't notice."

"Shut up. I just... why did you do that? I know that you couldn't have meant anything by it, so it's like you're leading me on- giving me false hope. And don't you dare do that to me, it will only put me in more pain."

"I'm not trying to 'lead you on' Mai. If you really love me that much, then it was the least I could do for you. I think I might miss you a little, though I'm sorry to say I'll never be able to love you."

"That knowledge certainly doesn't make losing you any easier. I don't know if I'm ever going to get over you now! I'm really starting to hate you!" But though her words were negative, she threw her arms around him in a tight, bone-crushing hug, and he knew that she would never mean that.

"I need to be getting home now. And, I believe, so do you."

"Home? But you... where exactly do you live? I didn't know you had a home."

He rolled his eyes, and pushed her away from him, breaking the physical contact she had been reveling in. "You honestly thought that I lived here, under this tree? I am not that destitute, Mai. This is only more proof that you really are the most foolish thing I've ever come across."

"I'm sorry, I can't think straight. Your fault you know, you fried my brains when you kissed me."

"Nothing has changed; you are making this something when it is really nothing."

Reluctantly, she nodded, and then sighed. He turned, and began to walk away. It was dark then, and the light had all but disappeared. She watched him go, knowing that she was seeing him leave forever. That was it, their last moment before he left her world for good, never knowing just how much he had changed it.

She bit her lip as she weighed her options. Then, not able to let him go, she called, "Hey! Sesshoumaru, wait!" She ran the few feet that separated them quickly, eager to catch him. "Would you... would you walk me home? I'm sorry, I just want one last walk together. Then goodbye."

He seemed to consider it a moment, then nodded. "Fine. One last walk."

As they tread on, she couldn't help but glance at him. His pace was languid- slow even- but he still exuded that sense of urgency and unrest that she had come to know him by. "Have you made a decision yet?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm and level. He had said that he wouldn't be staying in human form, but she was hoping against hope that her words at least forced him to give it a little consideration.

"I've had years to think about this," he replied. "I"ve been able to go over every consequence, consider every path, and exhaust my every option. But still... I wonder if I know what I should do. I could say that my decision is made, but that leaves little room for contemplation."

"Which means?"

"There are still things to be considered." He looked up at the sky, the just-born stars shining through the inky blue darkness. Both people- the girl, lovestruck and lonely, and the man, proud and cold- were silent then, neither one sure what would be appropriate to say. They just kept walking, going on towards the morning.

* * *

As it turned out, he didn't walk her home. They wandered aimlessly for a while, as it was obvious to him Mai was trying to prolong the experience as long as she could. He knew where she was staying, she had told him before, more than once. But she would take wrong turns, and lead them farther instead of closer. He knew she didn't want to leave. He was starting to feel the same way himself.

That girl had saved him; he didn't want to hurt her. But he couldn't punish himself any longer. The dilemma he was faced with was a dangerous one. He just didn't know what to do.

* * *

"So why did you come here Mai? The situation isn't going to change, I'm afraid."

They had ended up, as he had feared they would, not at Mai's home (or more accurately her aunt's), but at his apartment. Together. She was still so innocent, and he knew it. Didn't she realize the implications of going home with a man? If she was looking for one-night-together-to-remember-him-by or some such romantic bull-shit, she wasn't going to get it. He wasn't that kind of guy, really. Or more truthfully, he knew she wasn't that kind of girl, and he wasn't going to let her do something he knew she would regret later.

"I know that. I-"

"If you know that, then why the hell are you still here?"

Mai looked around and sighed. Picking her coat up from the sofa she asked quietly and a little coldly, "Do you want me to leave?"

There was no reply. His mouth mindlessly opened to speak, but no words were prepared. How could he so callously dismiss the girl who, through nothing more than kindness and a little determination, saved him from an eternity of more torture? The simple fact was, that if he did just send her off with a careless wave, he might actually feel a bit... guilty. And that emotion was so foreign and new that even a hint of it made him apprehensive. Raw and inexperienced though his new-found understanding and acceptance might be, it was still there.

"It is for the best if you do." There. A simple, straight-forward answer. And even better, it was an _honest_ answer.

"I didn't ask what was best. I asked what you wanted."

"Well, you imperceptive child, what I want is the best outcome of this situation." He looked sternly towards her in an attempt to ward off any pleas she might have a mind to make.

"There is something here," she said in response to his rather glare-ish expression. "You actually touched me- of your own free will. You... kissed me." Mai lowered her head, so she was looking at the floor. A rosy blush stained her young, embarrassed face. "But then you told me that we'd probably never see each other again. I confessed my crazy feelings, and you just-"

"I'm not ever going to love you Mai." He hung his own coat on a rack by the door, and with a dismissing look towards her, he went through a door on the far wall and into another room.

She, of course, followed. It was the kitchen, a white and metallic room that spoke of unwelcome intrusions and a solitary self-sufficiency. "You don't have to say it if you don't want to," she said from her position right behind him. "But I know you don't hate me. I know you care- at least a little."

He poured a bottle of water into a cup of ice, and took a deep swallow. Then without a word he walked back into his living room. Agitation rising, Mai stomped after him. He sat down on the big couch and slipped out of his socks.

"Are you being this cruel on purpose?" she asked him, coming up to lean against the back of the couch, just beside where he sat. "I don't think I can handle that, Sesshoumaru."

He almost smiled when she said his name. Cryptically he said, "It takes longer than that to heal a broken spirit."

"What?" she asked him, sliding her hands onto his shoulders. Even through the thin cotton of his shirt, he could feel an uncomfortable shock in every spot she touched him.

"I cannot stop being who I am overnight, you foolish girl. Your influence may be enough to melt the icy exterior, but my heart is hard as diamond underneath. It will take eons before it will even begin to drip."

Slowly her fingers began to roll over his shoulders, the sensation much more pleasant than he would have liked to admit. He shrugged gently, but the foolhardy girl didn't get- or just ignored- the hint.

"I understand," she told him. "But I'm willing to wait. And I think you should give me a chance. I love you a lot. How can I just forget that? Are you telling me to just ignore all my feelings?"

He shook his head lightly. "That isn't what I'm saying. Of course, the situation would be much easier if you had never fallen in love in the first place, but as that cannot be helped _now,_ I would suggest that you simply move on and give your feelings to someone who truly wants and deserves them." He was silent for a brief moment. "And at any rate, I'm much too old for you."

She snorted in laughter. "Well, since you said that you were turned into a human over 500 years ago, then I would say that yes, under normal circumstances you are much too old. But these aren't normal circumstances- not in the least. I don't care if you're a thousand; I really don't care!"

"I'm not that old," he said slowly, "The years have become meaningless to me at any rate. As an immortal being, I just... couldn't bring myself to care."

Mai laughed. "It would be safe to say you're ancient then, hmm?" She leaned down to his ear, and he could feel her soft, warm breath on his cheek, "If it makes you feel any better, you don't look that old at all to me."

He sighed. "No Mai, that does not make me feel any better. And I would appreciate it if you would place a bit more distance between us."

She looked at him for a long moment, and then leaned down on the back of the couch, right beside him. "Should have remembered your personal space issues." She laughed rather sarcastically.

"Look Mai," Sesshoumaru said, placing a hand on her cheek. "I'm sure your intentions are... well, mostly good. But you are too naive and innocent to seduce anyone, you mean too much to be to just be a one night stand, and whatever you _think_ you might accomplish by staying her any longer, I assure you that the plan will fail."

She sighed, and moved slowly from her place behind him to join him on the couch. She looked up at him, sadness deep in her eyes. He had never taken the time to look at her eyes before; they were a lovely, deep, stormy grey. The clock began to chime, but neither creature paid it any mind. The matter at hand was much more pressing.

"I don't want to seduce you," she said, finally looking away and pouting a little. "I just... I don't know what I want. You... this is all your fault! You've thoroughly confused me."

He rolled his eyes, and gave an agitated sigh. "I'll welcome all the blame."

She smiled at him, a smile filled with such love and adoration that he almost had to look away. He didn't want to hurt her- which surprised him- but the guilt- that damned guilt- he felt at turning her affections away was beginning to be enormous.

"You say that you could never love me," her voice stated out of nowhere, "but I think you're wrong."

He scoffed. "I am never wrong."

She almost laughed. "You're _human_, Sesshoumaru, whether you where meant to be or not. There are always going to be times when you're wrong."

The girl beside him moved closer. "You care about me. I know that. And I am NOT trying to seduce you- you're an idiot for even suggesting it. But I do care about you, too. I know that deep in your heart-" she put her hand on his chest, feeling for the pulse of said organ. "-You DO care for me."

"I know you wouldn't admit it," she said, her hand fidgeting with the side of his collar, "and you would never tell me you cared about me. But there is one thing that you can do for me. I'll leave, I promise. But after just one kiss goodbye."

She was much closer than she should have been, his internal alarms were going off like sirens in his mind. He could smell the lip gloss she had been wearing throughout the day, and he could see the tiny mole she had right under her right eye.

He knew he shouldn't. He would regret it. The girl meant nothing to him.

He _knew _he shouldn't.

Giving in to temptation was weak.

He wasn't going to honor the request.

It didn't matter how sincere the look in her eyes was; it didn't matter how strongly she loved him. All that was meaningless. It didn't matter that she looked beautiful right at that moment, wanting him and only him. It didn't matter how her hair fell softly over her ears, hiding them from plain view. It didn't matter that she was so close he could feel waves of her body height radiating off of her. All that... _Didn't matter..._

Cursing to himself softly, Sesshoumaru leaned in and kissed her fiercely, Mai's arms coming up around his neck. There was no coherent thought, only a desperate plea from one soul to another to accept a destiny that held light. That had, above all things... **_Love.

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End A/N: I hope you liked this chapter! Once again, I apologize for the long time between updates. Maybe if I GOT SOME REVIEWS I'd post the next chapter sooner. I almost waited longer because I haven't been getting feedback on my new stuff at all. (sigh) Ah well. R and R!_**

Love and Peace!  
-ADD


	17. 16: Lovely, Dark, and Deep

**Disclaimer:** Oh gosh... Look at all the other chapters of this story. I'm obviously not the owner.

**A/N:** I... Am ashamed. I said that I'd post soon, and... Well, quite obviously I didn't. And I'm not entirely sure this chapter makes up for it. But here it is, and I hope you like it. Once again, I apologize for not updating sooner. I neglected this story for far too long and even though there are only two chapters left, I hope I can remedy that. Please read and enjoy.

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Chapter Sixteen: Lovely, Dark, and Deep  
**"_The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." _

-last stanza of "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" -Robert Frost

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Pulling away finally, he said, "You know, things are never really this simple." He ran his thumb over the skin of her cheek. "Nothing is easy, Mai. It's a hard, cruel world, and there isn't a single thing as simple as it first appears." 

"Simple or difficult doesn't matter at all. I know that even though you deny anything to do with it, a part of you still knows love. I wish desperately that it loved me, but I guess we can't have everything we want. I've never expected you to say that you care about me. Words are pointless, trivial things and in the long run, they're totally empty. But Sesshoumaru, there are some things that are remembered long after all voices are gone. Don't try to admit or deny it, just..." She leaned over and put her hands tangled up in his hair. "Show me."

That was enough to break the small amount of self-control he had managed to maintain. Mai closed the gap between them, meeting his initially unwilling lips. He wasn't aware of the fact, but in that one moment all her hopes were met. They shared the kind of kiss that one often reads about, but rarely gets to experience. His soft, supple lips were warm and exciting- her own personal heaven. That simple (and yet everlastingly complex) gesture told her everything she needed to know; whether that stubborn man would come to admit it or not, she was certain that he loved her.

Wrapping up the emotional, explosive kiss, he pulled away. "Enough," he said sternly. "We can't continue. I refuse to put you through this. I don't love you; I'm not going to pretend to just to make you happy. Do you want a quick moment of false contentment? A lie? Because I can give you a lie, Mai; that would be all too easy. I could whisper sweet words and promises I have no intention of keeping; I could smile and melt your heart. But you know what? I'm not going to. I sure as hell am not going to demean myself just to make some silly girl feel wanted."

Mai looked at him, tears in her eyes. So that was how he felt? That was all she was to him- some stupid, _silly_ girl. Well... She didn't need to stay any longer.

"You jerk! You asshole! I... I can't believe you! So I mean nothing to you? I'm just some idiot, bubble-headed fool you picked up off the street? Oh, wait, I'm a human! A natural one!" She was, by then, standing, and she looked away from him, trying to hold back any sobs. "I should have known that you wouldn't let your prejudices go- you're far too stubborn for that. I honestly wanted to help you; I didn't expect a reward. I didn't, for a while at least, even care if you liked me! But you pretended to care. And now... Now you're telling me that it wasn't real. Well thanks for the reality check, you evil, evil man! I'm not going to stay here a moment longer."

Sesshoumaru had not expected her to react like that. Perhaps he didn't think about his words, but really, she was being ridiculous. He walked over and stood in front of the door, arms crossed over his chest, as Mai searched frantically for her coat. (It had ended up on the floor.) When at least she found it, she ran to the door, expecting a clear exit. What she got instead was stern eyes and a hard chest barring her way.

"Sesshoumaru," she said through clenched teeth, "Let me go."

"No."

"Let me go!"

She hit his abdomen with her small fists repeatedly, tears falling freely and words becoming incoherent babble. She didn't have much effort left in her, and when she failed to reach her objective, she just crumbled into his arms, hands grabbing clumps of his shirt in shaking fists.

"Mai..." He said softly, "That isn't what I meant. And you know it."

"Do not," she argued childishly.

"Mai," he chided. "Come. Sit down, and let's have a decent conversation. Ok? Can you handle that without another breakdown?"

She wiped her nose with the cuff of her shirt and nodded. "I'm a big girl- I think I can handle some talking."

"Why are you so sure?" he asked her when once again they were seated. "Your confidence is unnerving. I tell you again and again, politely and not-so-politely that I do not and will not love you, and yet you refuse to listen and instead assure me that I'm wrong! How can you be so certain? I think I know my own feelings better than you do."

"You need someone to take care of you," she replied, shyly taking his hand. "And... and I could do that. I'd always be there to hold your hand, I'd keep you entertained, and I'd give you every piece of my heart."

"Mai," he said, "I don't need protecting. If anyone here does, it would be you. You seem rather flighty and dependent."

She stuck out her lip- and noticed he hadn't pulled away his hand. "That's not very kind of you to say. I might be a little flighty sometimes, I'll give you that, but I can take care of myself. I've practically had to lately, you know." She sighed, and looked away from him. "I think my confidence is well-founded. You're stubborn- more stubborn than I am. I know hell would freeze over before you'd ever be induced to actually say the words 'I love you'. However, allowing for that, I don't think it's too much to ask for you to be honest. There are ways you can show me how you feel. And... I really have to know."

Reaching over, she kissed him again, soft and chaste and sweet. But he gently pushed her away. "Mai... No." His fingers brushed across her cheek, and the gold of his eyes sparkled with a fire that had been missing for centuries. The tingle of his fingers on her skin burned so badly as the sweet, innocent attraction she felt for him increased.

"I know what I'm doing Sesshoumaru," she said, blessing his very name. "And all I need... is you."

Slowly, she kissed him again, and that time he didn't pull away. Mai felt butterflies flying around in the pit of her stomach; the undeniable bliss of being close to him overwhelmed her. He felt that strange feeling she always managed to excite in him, and worked hard to keep his awareness high. He didn't want to do something they'd both regret.

But when her hands found his hair again, it was hard for him to resist. He responded ardently, pursuing the kiss like it was oxygen. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and though her experience with boys was lacking, she knew at that moment that no one in that world or any other could compare to the man she had in her arms. She knew that, even if he didn't love her, but she was content to just let things happen. The truth was, that even he didn't know how he felt about her. He hadn't forgotten his former disdain of all beings human, and after 500 years of having to be one- and hating it- himself, he was less than eager to get involved with the girl.

Mai probably unconsciously realized that, but she didn't care. She had faith that he could change, that their relationship could be real. He tasted so good it stung her lips, and dislocated all her thoughts. Tremblingly, she unwound her arms, and let her fingers find the first button of his shirt. Soon, it was undone. Then the next. And the next.

"Mai," Sesshoumaru said tonelessly, grabbing her wrist and stopping her. "You need to cease this foolish behavior. If you succeed in what is obviously your endeavor- sleeping with me- then I promise you you'll regret it for the rest of your life." His hand gently cupped her cheek, and he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"You're wrong! That's... that's not what I want. I just don't want you to leave me." She looked straight into his clear eyes. "Don't you feel anything at all?"

He sighed. "Mai... You wouldn't be able to understand." She looked hurt by his words. A plan began to weave itself together in his mind, and finally he knew what he should do.

With no warning, he grabbed the back of her head and pulled her lips to his. The kiss was fierce, with absolutely no mercy for her inexperience. His hands roamed her body, and his tongue forced her lips open. She was so shocked she could hardly respond. His behavior didn't scare her, but she couldn't help but wonder what she had gotten herself into. He was aggressive and passionate, making her feel things that she hadn't even dreamed of.

Sessoumaru moved them off the couch, and all but carried her across the room. Mai felt her back against a wall, his body blocking her from moving at all. Needing a quick breath, he pulled away, and started attacking her neck. She tilted back her head and closed her eyes, brain too stunned to think any further. His attentions slowed suddenly, and vaguely she was aware of him flinging open a door. They moved into the room, still kissing furiously. Her knees hit something, and she fell backwards. It only took a moment more for her to realize that it was his bed.

His hand ran up one of her legs, grabbing her thigh right above her knee. She had her arms wrapped around his neck, as his hair spilled out around them. Suddenly, he pulled away. Mai opened her eyes. He was looking at her with an almost frighteningly serious expression. Very, very slowly, he softly kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight," he whispered, voice rumbling. Then, he walked out, gently shutting the door behind him.

Mai couldn't move for a moment. Then, feeling overtook her like a tidal wave. She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. She felt so foolish, so desperate, so...

"Stupid," she said to herself, falling backwards and grabbing one of his pillows. It smelled just like him. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could I have acted like that?" She had never been more ashamed of herself. A few tears fell, pooling between the pillow and her cheek. She couldn't face Sesshoumaru again, not after that performance. He probably thought horribly of her, and apparently his assessment of her as "silly" had been entirely correct.

And in the dark as she lay on the big, grey comforter, she silently wept until she had fallen asleep.

* * *

Man, I loved the ending. I thought it worked out really well. I also thought it worked out well for Mai, portraying her as a real person, as foolish as everyone else. (Once again, I'm emphasizing that she's far from a Mary-Sue. An OC maybe, but FAR from perfect. This chapter illustrates that point quite well.)

Please review, I'd hate to have worked this hard and then not get any response. I won't promise an update soon, but we'll see what I can do anyway. I know what's going to happen (and I've decided whether he stays human or returns to demon) and all I have to do is type up what I have written and then edit it. Til then...

Love and Peace!  
-ADD


	18. 17: The Last Confrontation

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inuyasha. I never have, and I never will. So there.

**A/N: **I'M SORRY! Please don't hate me. I waited way too long to get around to this. At least it's here now though, right? You're probably going to hate this chapter. (sniffles) I'm sorry...  
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**Chapter Seventeen: **The Last Confrontation  
"_But who can decide what they dream, and dream I do."  
__-"Taking Over Me" Evanescence _

Mai woke up in a daze. Instantly she was bombarded with cruel remembrance, and she buried her head to hide from the shame.

Why had she been so foolish? Why, oh why had she acted the way she did? There was no way to take it back; there was no way to undo what was done.

"So you're finally awake," a voice said, surprising her. She shot up, and looked around. Sesshoumaru stood in the doorway, a smirk upon his pretty face.

Mai blushed, and did not meet his eye. "You would still talk to me?" she asked quietly. "Even after last night? I don't really deserve it, you know."

He scoffed. "You're always foolish, so I don't know why you'd think it would surprise me. I'm rather immune to all its ill effects."

She blushed an even deeper shade of red. "Yes, well..."

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. "Are you coming with me?"

She blinked in confusion. "What?"

His eyes narrowed. "That hag insisted I return to her; are you coming with me? Since you always profess such a keen interest in my life and my 'destiny' I could only imagine that you would like a front-row seat for when it is finally decided."

Mai gasped. "Do you mean... Have you made you decision?"

The only answer she received was a noncommittal shrug. "Perhaps. But it's just as likely that I haven't. One really can't be called upon to say."

"Ooh!" she huffed, "do you always have to be so difficult?"

He turned to leave, a smirk playing at his lips. "Perhaps."

* * *

The trip was silent- neither person dared to say a word to begin with, and the tense atmosphere smothered the senses and took away the capacity for speech.

Mai could hardly take it; each step brought them that much closer to that defining moment- the moment when she knew he would be taken away. There was nothing she could do for him, nothing she could do for herself. Helpless- that's how she felt. What was there to do?

She sighed. If he noticed her distress... he didn't show it.

The arrived at the park and waited until the old woman returned. She looked at each of them in turn and said, "So I suppose you're ready, hmm? I know how much your heart has fought with your head, but perhaps they've realized that there's no escaping destiny. If so, then you've made me proud."

He involuntarily let out a quiet growl. "I still hate you. I want to get this over with as quickly as I can." He added silently to himself, _'Before I change my mind.'_

"Only your heart can tell you where life has point you. Now tell me what you want to do- what you want me, in my infinite wisdom, to do for you. I must admit, I'm anxiously awaiting this decision. What is it going to be? What's your destiny?"

Mai smiled at him, and then turned her gaze down to the ground. She had known that the moment would come, but it still stung her all the same. She had never imagined it could hurt so badly. Love had never come to her before, and in all her dreams about it, she certainly hadn't imagined that it would turn out the way it did. It's not every day a girl meets an ancient man claiming to have once been something a bit more than human. Her heart was beginning to tear; she could feel the seams slowly ripping apart.

"I have one more thing I need to do," Sesshoumaru said, "and then I can tell you my decision." There was a finality in his voice that told her he knew exactly what he was going to do. It didn't surprise her a bit.

"Mai," he addressed to her softly, "tell me something."

"What do you want to know?"

For the first time, he looked almost... she couldn't say nervous. But some new emotion was tugging at him. He looked her straight in the eye. "You have told me how you feel about me." Still that reluctance to say 'love'. "Would you feel the same way if I returned to how I used to be- if I was no longer a human? Could you still... love me?"

Not able to help a small smile, she nodded. "I would still love you even if you were... anything. Even if you hate me, even if I never get to see you again, I'll always love you."

"So you would accept me in any form?"

She nodded. "Of course I would. I would give my life just to see you content."

He looked away from her. "Then I know what I must do."

The old woman turned to him and stepped cautiously closer. "Is this your choice?" she asked in an urgent whisper. "Will you give all you wished for away? I am waiting- I must have it from your own voice. Speak the words that will now make your destiny."

He closed his eyes. The old woman put a hand right at his heart, a barely centimeter away from making contact with his chest. "I used to be cold and unforgiving. Hard and heartless. There is no question that I suffered for my crimes; it feels as though every wrong deed I have ever done must somehow be atoned for, and it is not easy to now have a conscience. I have changed, and so has my heart. I now want, more than anything, just to be happy." He turned his head slightly, and graced Mai with a small, almost-smile. "You are not the only one who can make sacrifices."

Air rushed into her lungs. For one split second she had forgotten to breathe. There was no way he could possible mean what her heart was telling her he was saying. It just wasn't possible.

"I..." he paused, and wet his lips. "I want to be as I am. I want to make her happy, and I know that remaining a human would do that. So my true form is this. I will not change."

The old woman smiled, and said, "Very good. I knew that someone would tame you, Sesshoumaru. I was nearly afraid I would have to turn you into a dog this time, and teach you the lesson all over again. And now... You are free."

He opened his eyes with a snap. His breathing was rapid and shallow. Suddenly, he felt a weight being taken off. He stood up straighter, and could move easier. It was an unbelievably strange new feeling."

"I suppose we'll have to start your life-span over, won't we? Humans don't live forever, you know. I trust you took that into consideration when you made you choice." He nodded. "Good then. I suppose I'll give you a break. How does being a twenty-one year old sound? I'll give you some extra time to piddle around this pathetic planet. You chose mortality of your own free-will, and as I said, death comes with it. No way around it." She scrutinized him closely for a moment, and apparently satisfied, nodded triumphantly. Good luck- to both of you. Farewell."

The old woman walked away, leaving their lives for good.

Mai stood speechless before him, completely unable to move. Nothing had ever shocked her as much as his words just had. Almost crying, she gazed up at him. "Oh, tell me this is a dream. Life wouldn't be so neatly cut, so perfectly packaged as this. Where is the catch? Why does the world tease me?"

He studied her carefully, and walked over towards her. "Mai, aren't you going to say anything to me? Don't you want to know that this is real?" He looked at her with a gaze of fire. Chills shot down her spine as she thought of when he had previously been made of ice.

"You didn't do this for me, I'm sure of it. Why would I have anything to say to you? You're human now, but you've refused to ever love me. I think that such actions are crueler than if you had returned to your life as a demon."

"You're right, Mai. I didn't do this for you- not really." They stood there in silence for a moment. "I... have to go. Maybe I'll see you around some time."

And the man left. He walked away from her, lengthening the distance between their hearts with every step. She didn't want to watch him leave, but nothing could turn her away. It was excruciating, and she was sure he was enjoying every beat of her breaking heart. She sank to her knees, head clutched in her hands as silent tears poured down her face.

She cried as though to she were meant to fill oceans. She was broken. And she could never forget him- he'd always be with her. And it hurt so badly that all she wanted to do was curl up... and DIE.

* * *

Life went on after that. Her mother was released from the hospital, and they all went back home together. It had been a week, and she still hadn't seen him.

On the way home from dropping Sakura off at a friend's house, she took the path through the park. It stung a bit- it hurt like hell- but she imagined that she had to get over it some time.

Her feet followed their own path, her mind too occupied to spare a thought for her destination. Unfortunately, the matter weighing heavily on her mind seemed to have more influence than she would have liked.

She wound up in front of a spot she had seen hundreds of times before. An average, if somewhat old-looking tree. And sitting under it...

Her eyes welled up with tears. It was... _him._

He didn't seem surprised to see her. For a long moment there was silence as they stared at each other. Then shocking her out of what senses she had left, he smiled. (He honestly _smiled_ at her.) And in a kind, soft voice he said, "I was wondering when you were going to come to see me."

She sobbed loudly and rushed at him. She threw herself at him, his arms surrounding her as she sobbed unashamedly into his chest.

"Wh-why?" she asked through her tears. "You h-hurt me; you hurt me so badly. I c-can't just forgive you!"

"Have I ever told you that you belong in my arms?"

She was quiet. Looking up at him slowly, sniffing slightly as she did so, there was a noticeable change in his face. "B-but... B-but..."

He kissed her forehead. "We're here now, aren't we? I promise you- I'll explain everything one day. But now... Please be content. Be happy. You had more of an affect on me than you could ever imagine."

Maybe there was a chance, she let herself think against her better judgement. She didn't know why he had abandoned her, or why he was trying to come back. But for a moment she could hold him, and for that moment she could be happy.

"I really hate you," she whispered, lowering her head onto his shoulder.

He laughed quietly. "But not near as much as I hate you."

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WHAA! Please don't hate me. I'm sorry, this ending just fit so well! I thought it was adorable! ...I'm sure it's probably going to get me bombared with flames. Ahh well, it was how the fic was meant to be! I only have one chapter left- it's the epilogue. I can definitely promise that it won't be such a long wait. In fact, since I don't have school, the update will be before the first of '06! Yeah! Ok. So... Dare I ask for reviews? I probably don't deserve them. Oh well, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter anyway! OH is almost over- epilogue coming soon! 


	19. Epilogue: Life Renewed

**Disclaimer: **THE LAST! I STILL don't own Inuyasha.

**A/N:** I don't really have much to say. I hope this wraps things up nicely. Please enjoy this last chapter of "Only Human". Thank you everyone who has reviewed; I really appreciate it!  
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**Epilogue: **Life Renewed  
"_I give you the truth in the pleasant disguise of illusion." -spoken by Tom in Tennessee Williams's "Glass Menagerie"_

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Mai smiled at her aunt. "Yes, I've never been happier. This is all so wonderful, and it's great to see you again."

"Good to see you too, Mai. I'm sorry that Kagome couldn't be here to see you. She-"

"What do you mean couldn't be here? And see who?" Just then, Kagome came racing in through the door. A strange looking young man followed her.

But she noticed Mai just a moment too late. Mai caught more than a glimpse of the companion's strange attire, the silver hair, and the fuzzy ears perched atop his head. She was surprised. The man beside her smirked a little.

"Mai!" Kagome squeaked in a high-pitched voice. "What are you doing here?" She pushed the boy out of the room.

"What's with that guy, Kagome?" Mai asked with a grin. "Why are you trying to hide him?" She had a pretty good guess who he was already. The silver hair gave him away. _'Ahh, the infamous half-brother.'_

"Oh, he's just a... a friend from school. We have a project to do together. I didn't know you would be here."

"I just called yesterday to tell your mother the good news." She smiled. She had graduated a month earlier, and her future was unlimited. She was the happiest she had ever been.

"What good news?"

Mai smiled again. "I know I'm still young, but I'm out of school so... Well, the truth is... I've fallen in love. We're going to be married."

Kagome gasped and said, "Oh Mai, that's wonderful! And this must be the lucky man! Hi, I'm Kagome! What's your name? How did you meet Mai? How long have you two been together?"

He looked at Mai uncertainly, clearing saying "She's kidding, right?" Mai just laughed. So the man rolled his eyes and said, "I can put no date to anything. I do care for her though, and you must forgive her for loving me."

Kagome was confused. She wanted her cousin to be happy, and that's generally what love caused a person to be. She would never deny Mai that lovely experience just because she might get angry. The man was peculiar. Why had he said that? And why did he seem so familiar? A bit threatening, but still so familiar.

"You don't recognize me?" he asked. She shook her head. "Good."

"Oh, can't we just tell them?" Mai asked. "I imagine they'll figure it out eventually."

"I don't think they'll accept it."

"Of course we'll accept you," Kagome's mother said. "There's no reason we wouldn't. If Mai loves you and you love her, then we want the two of you to be together."

"Fine, but I think that dog-boy over there need to hear this as well." Everyone's eyes went wide. "Inuyasha! Come here."

Kagome and her mother looked at the man in shock. Things were certainly getting strange. Hearing his name, the said hanyou came walking in, wearing a baseball cap. "Who are these people, Kagome?" he spat out.

"This is my cousin Mai and this is..." She trailed off, not knowing his name. "Um, this is her fiancee."

Inuyasha just "Feh"ed. Unsure what to do, Kagome addressed to the mysterious man, "Who are you? How did you know his name?" He stood and walked over to Inuyasha. "I know his name, because I used to hate him."

Then quick as a flash, he grabbed Tessaiga from its sheath.

'_I can hold it,'_ Sesshoumaru thought to himself. _'I can't use it, but... I can hold it.'_

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Inuyasha asked him angrily. Suddenly, giving no one else a chance to speak, the sword started to glow. A blinding, pulsing light filled the room, causing everyone to shield their eyes.

Suddenly, Mai giggled- shocked at the sight that met her straining eyes. The others gasped, unable to speak as they stared at the man holding the sword.

_The man with silver hair, golden eyes, and a blue crescent moon on the center of his forehead..._

(Line)

"I can't believe it," Kagome said as she sat with Inuyasha in her family's living room. "My cousin and your brother."

Inuyasha didn't respond, too busy playing with Buyo.

Kagome rolled her eyes. _'Idiot. He probably didn't even notice that his brother had been human.'_ To Inuyasha she said, "I'm glad he's happy, though. He... I guess he deserves it, doesn't he? And I know Mai does." She smiled. "Happiness... And really, who would have ever imagined?"

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WHAA! The end! Thank you all for reviewing! I hope you enjoyed it. Farewell! 

ADD


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